Judge Less and Forgive More – It’s Powerful!
LisaMarie • December 2, 2019
Forgiveness evokes a wide range of emotions from people… including anger.
How can you possibly forgive that? is a common reaction.
After going into countless organizations where it seemed as if there were just “people-problems” I learned that often frustrations from unmet expectations led to deep resentment and anger.
The remedy: forgiveness and love.
When I first identified this, it was 2008, and my client thought I was off my rocker.
He was a salty CEO who had a team of executives that were at each other’s throats and the ship was sinking fast.
What I asked him to do was unconventional and risky, and he wasn’t buying it.
After countless meetings, he ceded and agreed to move forward with what I refer to as Operation Forgiveness.
While I wish I could say it landed well with the directors, it was rocky throughout the process and led to him firing two (2) of the eight (8) directors and demoting a third.
In the end, the truth was messy. However, the organization got right-side up, cleaned of a great deal of toxicity, and beauty and humanity were unearthed that hadn’t been accessible before.
Over the past 10+ years since then, my style has been refined – and so has my research.
Forgiveness is often misunderstood as meaning you accept or tolerate the behavior.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
On October 3rd, 2019, emotions ran the gamut at the trial of former Dallas police officer Amber Guyger who was convicted of murder for the death of Botham Jean.
Whatever your viewpoint is on the case which garnered national attention around policing and violence against people of color, what was clear was the power of forgiveness and love.
At the sentencing hearing, Jean’s 18-year-old brother, Brandt, asked the judge for permission to hug his brother’s killer.
Then he said to Guyger, “I don’t event want you to go to jail. I want the best for you. Because I know that’s exactly what Botham would want.”
Most people can’t wrap their minds around this.
Back to that initial question: How can you possibly forgive that?
Forgiveness is the only thing that has the power to change the past and the future in an instant.
Think about that.
It can heal wounds, create understanding, and allow for a very different path forward.
Examining our own resistance to forgiveness is a valuable exercise that often finds us being attached to our “rightness” and someone else’s “wrong,” and how we may have been injured or affected.
The act of forgiveness does not change the truth of the situation. There usually IS right and wrong.
However, by holding onto that position of how we have been wronged, we keep it alive and feed it with our energy, attention, and emotion… and it ultimately depletes us.
Given the cost, wouldn’t it be valuable to use that energy and focus for a better purpose?
You have a big mission.
Choose what will serve that mission.
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine where forgiveness could change your past and future either in business or your personal life.
Imagine what it could be on the other side of that forgiveness.
Have the courage to judge less and forgive more.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 19, 2026
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 5, 2026
As I look at how to move forward with a new year...I’m tasked with identifying what to do to take action in the here and now. It sometimes feels hard... which is why I’m grateful for friends who lend a listening ear. It feels as if no matter how much I wipe the surface of my white board, my old writing shows through. Leaders face this challenge all the time. ~ How to erase what’s holding them back... ... and how to embrace what will propel them forward without old stories seeping through. I believe that’s why this time of year is confronting for people. They’re faced with the dilemma of honestly facing whether they’ve taken action on what they said they wanted last year ... and looking at how much energy and effort they put into their commitments... while assessing what's still flippin' gettin' in the way. Some people run and hide – and then lie to themselves. Others play the blame game. Only the courageous take personal responsibility for their shortcomings... with renewed energy to do better moving forward. To do this, you’ve got to get curious. Looking at where you’re at in this moment will determine how successful you will be tomorrow. And, you can’t get to self-regulation without self-awareness so that’s also critical. You’re born with a certain success set point and tolerance for risk... ... as well as a boatload of behavioral characteristics... ... some which serve you and others that get in the way of your success. Over time, you can make adjustments or choose to step into old habits. Blind spots are places we just can’t see on our own. Upside Leaders was born out of my desire to walk alongside leaders in this very space... where the unseen becomes visible, and small, intentional shifts create lasting transformation. When I spoke with a friend, he said perhaps it's just allowing for a small shift to the left or right, rather than an uncovering. For me that 1% tilt has made all the difference... ... especially when I look through that lens with humility... ... which precedes personal and professional growth. You cannot improve where you’re headed unless you improve yourself. See this as a time to erase what is no longer relevant... put some effort into making sure the old writing on your "white board" doesn't seep through. You are writing a new story. ... look in the mirror... ... and commit to doing better. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at your current goals and circle the one that feels the most familiar. Challenge yourself to reimagine it and to stretch it by 1%. Ask, “ What would this look like if I led with full conviction instead of comfort? ” Then pause and listen for what you’re being asked to release so greater vision can unfold through you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 19, 2026
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 5, 2026
As I look at how to move forward with a new year...I’m tasked with identifying what to do to take action in the here and now. It sometimes feels hard... which is why I’m grateful for friends who lend a listening ear. It feels as if no matter how much I wipe the surface of my white board, my old writing shows through. Leaders face this challenge all the time. ~ How to erase what’s holding them back... ... and how to embrace what will propel them forward without old stories seeping through. I believe that’s why this time of year is confronting for people. They’re faced with the dilemma of honestly facing whether they’ve taken action on what they said they wanted last year ... and looking at how much energy and effort they put into their commitments... while assessing what's still flippin' gettin' in the way. Some people run and hide – and then lie to themselves. Others play the blame game. Only the courageous take personal responsibility for their shortcomings... with renewed energy to do better moving forward. To do this, you’ve got to get curious. Looking at where you’re at in this moment will determine how successful you will be tomorrow. And, you can’t get to self-regulation without self-awareness so that’s also critical. You’re born with a certain success set point and tolerance for risk... ... as well as a boatload of behavioral characteristics... ... some which serve you and others that get in the way of your success. Over time, you can make adjustments or choose to step into old habits. Blind spots are places we just can’t see on our own. Upside Leaders was born out of my desire to walk alongside leaders in this very space... where the unseen becomes visible, and small, intentional shifts create lasting transformation. When I spoke with a friend, he said perhaps it's just allowing for a small shift to the left or right, rather than an uncovering. For me that 1% tilt has made all the difference... ... especially when I look through that lens with humility... ... which precedes personal and professional growth. You cannot improve where you’re headed unless you improve yourself. See this as a time to erase what is no longer relevant... put some effort into making sure the old writing on your "white board" doesn't seep through. You are writing a new story. ... look in the mirror... ... and commit to doing better. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at your current goals and circle the one that feels the most familiar. Challenge yourself to reimagine it and to stretch it by 1%. Ask, “ What would this look like if I led with full conviction instead of comfort? ” Then pause and listen for what you’re being asked to release so greater vision can unfold through you.
