Holding It All Together Isn’t the Goal
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on.
And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart.
That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership.
See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7.
And that's unrealistic.
Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help.
No one can go it alone.
Every leader needs someone to lean on.
Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good.
I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit.
The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster.
Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do.
One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11.
The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair.
You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times.
And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member.
I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire.
Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are.
The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose.
And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense.
They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy.
Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are.
Because even leaders need a place to lean.










