What Every Wise Leader Has That Others Don’t

Fifteen years ago, a Chinese medicine doctor read my bloodwork and told me if things didn’t change I would have less energy in 5 years, and people would tell me it was just aging. That one conversation has led me on a long journey with a singular desire: to be a more optimal version of who I am in all areas of my life. Over the years, things would happen in my life that would take me off-course. Behaviors and habits that once seemed manageable, at times felt impossible. Inevitably, my long-time commitment to healthy living was something that got challenged regularly by the people around me, family and friends alike. There have been several times on this journey where I will wake up, understanding something I'm doing needs to change. Immediately. I can't always put my finger on why, yet the signs are there. Going through the motions without the incredible excitement I used to feel about my business A growing task list Questioning my ability My answer used to be to ignore my physical health and just work longer hours hoping to push through what felt like a slump. When I listen to the prompting that something needs to change, I re-commit to what matters most. The longer I've done this, the more I've realized that I can only be healthy in mind and spirit when I'm healthy in my body. And this is one of the reasons we talk about the brain and sleep in the Upside Leaders Program. Because how you treat your body directly affects how you lead. Now, I’m taking more breaks than ever before, and have plenty of space to take regular walks and trail hikes on the farm. All of this allows me to move with intention throughout the day, living moment by moment. What’s been fascinating is that since I've done this bigger opportunities continue to come my way. It’s not the hustle that opens doors. it’s being aligned with who you are, what you want and why it matters. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop and ask yourself: Where do you need to make a shift? God often reveals the need for a shift long before we act on it. It can be a strained schedule, a restless spirit, or a body that’s run down. Then take one aligned action. It can be clearing space on your calendar. Or going for a walk without your phone. Or going to bed earlier. The action doesn’t have to be dramatic and you don’t need to overhaul your life. It just needs to be intentional.

I was often annoyed when my cross-country coach would tell me to just believe in myself and envision crossing the finish line. “You’ve just got to believe in yourself.” Really?!? That’s it?!? If it were that simple, everyone would be doing it. And yet… it is that simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy. True belief in oneself takes effort and energy. It demands commitment and discipline. It’s not a quick fix or a motivational phrase you tape to the mirror and forget about the next day. It’s a muscle, a spiritual one and an emotional one that has to be exercised over and over again. There’s a reason most people give up before they ever reach the vision they once felt called to pursue. Somewhere along the way, their belief in themselves got buried beneath fear, fatigue, or comparison. When I look back at everything I've accomplished in my life, it was never complicated to get to the finish line. What it did require was consistent, often uncomfortable action, especially when I felt like I had very little left in my tank. I had to get quiet and reconnect with the vision. I had to remind myself why it mattered and I had to move forward even when the circumstances didn’t look favorable. ~ Some days I doubted my book would ever get published. (I’ve written 7.) ~ Some days I doubted if anyone would ever buy a ticket to one of my events. (I’ve hosted the Upside Summit for 18 years—and people kept coming back.) ~ Some days I doubted whether I'd ever get another client. (And yet, I’ve worked with over 100,000 leaders in the past 20 years.) It’s easy to look at the outcome and assume the path was certain. In each milestone, it was preceded by a moment of doubt—a moment that required me to choose belief over fear. The doubts were real. So was the belief that somehow, some way, the pieces would come together. Some days, it was my faith in God that pulled me through. Other days, it was a conversation with a friend, a coach, or a mentor. Truthfully, sometimes I needed all three. Because every great leader knows that no one goes it alone. And you do have to believe in yourself—and believe that where you're going is worthwhile to keep going. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify where you need more belief in yourself right now. Is there a decision you’ve been avoiding because doubt is louder than faith? Is there a dream you’ve shelved because the finish line feels far away? Whether it’s making a call, saying yes to help, or simply declaring out loud what you truly want… Do it. Remember, simple isn’t easy. Yet it is possible. And it’s worth it.

Have you ever been stuck in a long line, wishing you could just march right up to the front? When I was in my 30s, that’s exactly what my friends did at a local nightclub. At the time, I was mortified. Yet, deep down inside I thought it was the coolest thing. They carried themselves like they belonged, like they didn’t need anyone’s permission to take up space. I remember thinking… maybe that’s what leadership looks like. Take the risk. Be bold. Do what it takes to get ahead. It felt like confidence. It looked like power. And I'll admit ... there are times in my life when I made decisions based on how cool I thought something would make me vs. whether I thought it was the right thing to do. Over time, I’ve learned that what’s cool rarely aligns with what’s truly lasting. Cool fades. Purpose endures. It’s easy to be drawn to what turns heads or makes a strong impression and harder to stay anchored in what’s true, especially when it means standing alone. Leadership asks something deeper from you. It requires a willingness to listen for what’s real. To live with alignment. To walk forward even when no one’s clapping. And that's one of the hardest lines to walk in leadership. Every day you'll be confronted with decisions that will challenge you in ways that you never imagined. They will put your moral and ethical code on trial or out for bid to the highest buyer. If you make your decisions based on what you see others around you doing, or what the media says is "normal", you'll always fall short from what God has in store for you. When I first started my career in Federal law enforcement, I saw the world through a lens of good and evil. There was no middle or grey area. And then, over time, I watched colleagues make decisions that didn't sit well with me. Behaviors that left me questioning what the "right" thing to do, has challenged my moral fiber. We all carried the same badge. We all have the same set of credentials that read, " This officer possesses integrity. " Yet one of my closest partners made choices that eventually landed him in jail and serving time for his choices. Leadership will reveal what’s underneath. This is why the people around you deeply matter. When things get uncomfortable (and they will), you need to be surrounded by people who call you higher. People who see you for who you are and who you're becoming. That’s the sacred space we’re creating at the Upside Retreats. So here’s the invitation: Is it time to pause and look at the decisions you’ve been making? Is it time to notice who’s around you and whether those voices are helping you stay grounded in truth? Is it time to re-commit to who you are, what you want, and why that matters? Because life has never needed more cool leaders. It needs more aligned ones. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to step back from chasing what looks shiny and start leaning into what’s actually meaningful. Begin by making a list of three things you’ve recently said “yes” to because they sounded impressive or exciting. Then, identify the one that feels least aligned with your values or your calling and take one clear step back from it. That might mean turning down the next opportunity, rescheduling a commitment, or resetting expectations. Use the time and energy you free up to invest in something that may not be flashy yet fuels your deeper purpose.