Why Successful Leaders Say Yes to “No”

Lisa Marie Platske • April 22, 2013

 

For the past few weeks, putting others first has been a consistent theme in my coaching sessions with clients so I thought it would be appropriate for me to share this topic today.


Plus, I’m getting ready to hop on a plane again and the challenge of saying yes to no has come up for me as well.


Is “no” is a dirty word for you? A word that sounds like profanity when it slips past your lips?


I get it.


You don’t like to disappoint people – especially the people who are closest to you — your family, your friends, and probably even your clients or your boss.


If you find yourself saying “yes” when someone asks you to do something that you don’t really want to do and know will suck the life out of you, you have just taken a detour from Success Street and peace of mind.


Why do I say that?, you ask.


Well, I know because I’m a recovering people pleaser and I’ve taken that detour myself.


I like to be liked.


It feels good to be liked.


But, if you’re serious about being a leader, getting what you want, and being recognized for who you are, then you know that being liked isn’t doesn’t necessarily get you influence or opportunity.


In fact, it’s more likely that people will say aloud or think to themselves that you are a “nice person” – and that doesn’t put money in your bank account, pay your bills, get you more clients, or that big promotion.


Maybe you are uncomfortable with conflict, and feel that saying “no” will result in disappointment or worse – the other person getting angry with you.


I get that. I was once afraid of confrontation of any kind.


Or, maybe you worry that if you say “no”, you’ll miss out on something life-changing – and regret it forever.


Yep. I’ve been there, too.


So, what happens?


You say “yes” to activities that are ultimately not in your best interest because you want people to say, “Isn’t (fill in your name) amazing? How does he/she do it?!?”


Because you’re more concerned about what others think about you, you end up overwhelmed, overcommitted, and over-full. Ultimately someone else is allowed to lead your life.


Successful leaders say “no” with ease and grace. They say it joyfully, knowing that it allows them to stay focused on where they’re going and not get sidetracked by other people’s priorities.


Here are three (3) strategies to confidently step up as the leader you were meant to be, say “no”, and resist the urge to say “yes” —


1. Be Reflective: You may remember that months ago I spoke about the power of the pause. This is when you give yourself the space to reflect and be okay with not jumping into action on-the spot. When asked if you’re available to (fill-in-the-blank), the best response is “This sounds like a great opportunity. Let me review my current commitments and get back to you.” It’s just too tempting to let, “Sure, I can do that!” slip out when the person is in front of you.


2. Be Benefit-Focused: When you take the time to think it through, ask yourself, “Is this a commitment I really want to make? What are the benefits for me? What will I be giving up?” If you know in your heart that it isn’t the best exchange of your time and the answer should be “no”, then you owe it to yourself – and the other person — to gracefully decline.


3. Be #1 in Your Life: I often share that priorities need to follow the order of health (self), family, and work. Taking care of you is your most important responsibility. When you don’t, you cannot give the best of who you are to your loved ones, clients, or colleagues. While it may be challenging, you need to make the best decisions for you, and not get sidetracked by what others might think or say.


And if you find yourself in the situation of having already made a commitment that you wish you hadn’t, be strong enough to renegotiate.


See Upside. Be Upside. Lead Upside.

By Lisa Marie Platske December 15, 2025
There are forces in the world that are intangible and unseen. Yet most folks rely on their physical senses, relying solely on what they can see, touch, weigh, and measure. I've often thought about Thomas in the Bible and what must have been going through his head to say, "Until I see His hands, feel the wounds of the nails, and put my hand to His side, I won't believe what you are saying." Oh, I get being skeptical to what cannot be explained. For safety's sake, I'm someone who wants a tangible, rational explanation for things in life. When something goes up, I expect there's a down. When something goes left, I expect there's a right. When things don't add up in the way that I've been told life works, it's confronting. When I look at leadership through this lens, I can better understand why my expectations of others haven't often been met. The majority of folks don't have the ability to cope with things that don't seem to make sense. Speaking about an intangible force that ensures the world keeps on spinning is more than just the universal law of gravity. That's God. And there's no simple explanation. Try to wrap your head around how the ground beneath your feet is actually suspended in mid-air, circling around a sun. Forces of nature like tornados and thunderstorms leave all folks helpless and feeling out of control. Because they are. It's not that most folks are ignorant about forces that are unseen and intangible. It's just they choose not to acknowledge their very power - and the amount of intelligence that is accessible when acknowledged. When I opened my business over 20 years ago and got into teaching leadership, I thought there was a simplicity to the work, where if certain principles were understood you could thrive. Over time, I've discovered that's just not true. Much of what occurs on the planet and in everyday life is entangled with cosmic alignment. People create all sorts of stories so they can wrap their head around that, so it's easier to digest rather than just understanding there are some things that you cannot explain. And again, for me, that's God. When I brought God into my body of leadership work, it started to make sense in ways that are hard to describe. There are no expectations about this plus that equals something else, as with intangible, unseen forces, the equation can have exponential results that cannot be explained. There is a way leadership comes alive when you make room for what cannot be explained. The moments when reason falls short and human understanding runs out are often the moments when the most extraordinary answers arrive. I have seen doors open that no strategy could have forced. I have watched solutions appear in the exact moment they were needed. That is what happens when you lead with an awareness of the One who holds it all together. The results may not make sense on paper, yet they carry a power that shapes lives and outlasts you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one leadership challenge you are facing right now. Write down what you can see and measure. Then name what you sense is also shaping the outcome — a conversation that came at just the right time, a shift in someone’s openness, an inner knowing you can’t ignore, a divine alignment that placed the right person in your path. Let both guide your next step.
By Lisa Marie Platske December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske December 15, 2025
There are forces in the world that are intangible and unseen. Yet most folks rely on their physical senses, relying solely on what they can see, touch, weigh, and measure. I've often thought about Thomas in the Bible and what must have been going through his head to say, "Until I see His hands, feel the wounds of the nails, and put my hand to His side, I won't believe what you are saying." Oh, I get being skeptical to what cannot be explained. For safety's sake, I'm someone who wants a tangible, rational explanation for things in life. When something goes up, I expect there's a down. When something goes left, I expect there's a right. When things don't add up in the way that I've been told life works, it's confronting. When I look at leadership through this lens, I can better understand why my expectations of others haven't often been met. The majority of folks don't have the ability to cope with things that don't seem to make sense. Speaking about an intangible force that ensures the world keeps on spinning is more than just the universal law of gravity. That's God. And there's no simple explanation. Try to wrap your head around how the ground beneath your feet is actually suspended in mid-air, circling around a sun. Forces of nature like tornados and thunderstorms leave all folks helpless and feeling out of control. Because they are. It's not that most folks are ignorant about forces that are unseen and intangible. It's just they choose not to acknowledge their very power - and the amount of intelligence that is accessible when acknowledged. When I opened my business over 20 years ago and got into teaching leadership, I thought there was a simplicity to the work, where if certain principles were understood you could thrive. Over time, I've discovered that's just not true. Much of what occurs on the planet and in everyday life is entangled with cosmic alignment. People create all sorts of stories so they can wrap their head around that, so it's easier to digest rather than just understanding there are some things that you cannot explain. And again, for me, that's God. When I brought God into my body of leadership work, it started to make sense in ways that are hard to describe. There are no expectations about this plus that equals something else, as with intangible, unseen forces, the equation can have exponential results that cannot be explained. There is a way leadership comes alive when you make room for what cannot be explained. The moments when reason falls short and human understanding runs out are often the moments when the most extraordinary answers arrive. I have seen doors open that no strategy could have forced. I have watched solutions appear in the exact moment they were needed. That is what happens when you lead with an awareness of the One who holds it all together. The results may not make sense on paper, yet they carry a power that shapes lives and outlasts you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one leadership challenge you are facing right now. Write down what you can see and measure. Then name what you sense is also shaping the outcome — a conversation that came at just the right time, a shift in someone’s openness, an inner knowing you can’t ignore, a divine alignment that placed the right person in your path. Let both guide your next step.
By Lisa Marie Platske December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
More Posts