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Have you ever had one of those days where it feels as if nothing went the way you planned? ~ You’re late for work or... ~ You spill something on your favorite shirt or.. ~ You get in a fender bender. Or, worse… ~ You get a call from your doctor and are diagnosed with something you wouldn’t wish on your enemies. ~ You lose your biggest client and/or you lose your job. ~ The love of your life says they don’t want to be with you anymore. Let’s be real… There are days when life can be heart-wrenchingly painful. And, there may be days when you want to stay in bed and wait for tomorrow to come. It's easy to forget that what we tell ourselves about these situations matters. The story we tell ourselves and others become part of our beliefs. I get how easy it can be to give up on days like this, and how tempting it can be to give in to the feeling that you did something wrong to cause this. I’ve been there. In business… … I’ve lost close relationships. … I lost big opportunities. … I lost my belief in myself. And I’ve been lied to and betrayed more times than I can count. There was a time, years ago when I lost sight of my Divine mission, and applied for a job when I had a full book of coaching clients. My confidence took a beating and I didn’t know how to move forward. The good news is that with the support of friends, family, and a strong coach - and leaning on the Holy Spirit - I got clear on what I needed and what was important to me. And I practiced forgiveness, for myself and others. I told myself through each challenge, that these were great lessons, full of learning that I could share. And, I created a community where thinkers, leaders, and world changers could come to do their work. You can focus on what you see as negative in the situation and make excuses for why you’re standing still. Or you can find the upside and create solutions to get to where you want to go. It’s really your decision. You are where you choose to be. So, if you’re going through one of those days in your life… …or one of those weeks… …or one of those months… …or what feels like one of those years… I get it. Take a Godwalk. Place your attention on where you want your focus to be. Decide what the most constructive story to tell yourself that aligns with what you want would be. Then, commit to taking action on what you truly want. Make peace with anyone with whom you are out of alignment with in your life using the power of forgiveness. The 1st person on your list may need to be you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice the art of writing your life when things are hard. Being aware of the story you are telling yourself with each experience. What's the story that will serve you best so that you move forward productively? If you get stuck, take a God walk, and then pick up the phone to connect with someone who appreciates who you are - and where you are on your life's journey.

Most people believe they're good at keeping commitments. They wake up, show up, and do their best for others. Yet that same desire to do good for the people around them can create limitations on the ability to keep commitments to themselves. Everyone has an internal account that holds what I call integrity currency. Think about it like this… Every time you make a promise or break a promise to a client or someone you care about, you either add a coin, or you subtract a coin from your account. The coins you deposit are made up of magnetic energy, making you less or more attractive to yourself and others. The human body is an electrical body made up of charged particles - and has its own magnetic fields. When you make a promise to yourself, like taking an afternoon off to rest, and you fail to honor it, it is a double break of your integrity and your account is withdrawn TWICE. Why? Being out of integrity with yourself causes internal stress, shame, and regret. You didn't keep your word to the most important person in your life — YOU. Because the coins act like magnets, when you make deposits in your account, your account grows and begins paying dividends. The result is that you begin magnetizing opportunities with ease. The opposite is also true. As your account shrinks from being out of integrity with yourself or others, opportunities bounce off of you and seem just out of reach when once they were plentiful. You may work hard and can’t seem to get further ahead. When this is happening, I tell clients to check their integrity account. ~ Have you failed to honor commitments to yourself or others? ~ Are you depleted? ~ Is your account overdrawn? Everything you do is creating a pathway in your brain to get you closer to what you want...or further away. You choose in every moment who you are, what you want, and why it matters. Leading with integrity doesn’t just impact your life; it creates ripple effects in your business, your team, and your ability to lead at the highest level. This is why the leaders in my Upside Leaders program learn to strengthen their integrity account and build a life that aligns with their values and vision. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to imagine yourself as a bank account. Where are you spending? Where are you investing? When and how are you making deposits? At the end of the month, quarter, and year, what do you want your statements to look like? Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever.

My mom and I had a rocky relationship growing up. After my Daddy left, I suppose I was more affected than anyone understood. This was the 1970's and 'divorce' was a dirty word. Folks don't want to talk about the emotional carnage it leaves. My mom was forced into a situation she didn't choose or want ... ... and me and my younger sister were left to deal with it the best we could. In my teens, I blamed my mom for lots of things — and was disrespectful to her more than I'd like to admit. Perhaps it was because we were more alike than not ... ... and I didn't have any tools to deal with how I felt. Regardless, when I left home after college, I didn't leave on great terms. And at the time, I was too stubborn to make amends. Yes, there were seasons when I didn't speak to her or she didn't speak to me. And I never felt good when those were going on. At 55 years old, I have dealt with and healed the heartache, trauma, and pain that happened early on in life. It's given me deep compassion and wisdom ... and I desire to be able to love like Mother Mary does. This has helped me tremendously in my leadership coaching practice. While my mom and I still have our bumps now and then, today she's one of my favorite people to spend time with. Even when I'm frustrated or she pushes my buttons, I love who she is. I tell clients you can determine what you value by examining where you invest your time, energy, or money. My mom gets a lot of all three ... and I wasn't with her on Mother's Day yesterday. And we've got plans next month to go to the Jersey shore together as a family — as well as four other getaways, and one just the two of us. Whether you're close to your mom or not, or whether she's here or passed away, I hope you can reflect on one good memory today. Just one. If you're a mom, I hope you had a happy Mother’s Day. We don’t become strong leaders because everything goes smoothly. We become strong because we’ve lived through what we thought might break us. We lead how we heal. The work I’ve done with my mom ... learning to forgive, to listen, to understand ... that’s the same work I bring into the room with clients. You can't lead people well if you haven't faced your own stuff. The more I’ve grown, the more space I can hold. The more I’ve softened, the stronger I’ve become. And the more I’ve healed, the more clarity I have when it comes to what truly matters. That’s leadership. It's the transformation more than the titles or the wins. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to reflect on one part of your story that shaped who you are today. Maybe it’s something you used to hide or pretend didn't happen. Ask yourself: how does this part of my journey still influence how I lead, decide, or relate to others? The goal isn’t to fix anything — it’s to get honest about how your inner story is shaping your outer leadership. Because the more whole you become, the more powerfully you can lead.

Siam struggled for years and tried everything he knew to do. First, he rebuilt his website. Then, he spent money getting people to listen to his podcast. Next, he mapped out a social media strategy with a digital marketing agency. Lastly, he went all in on paid advertising. He was working long hours, missing out on time with his family. And Siam’s bank account kept shrinking, and he couldn't figure out why nothing seemed to be working. And that’s when we met. Siam was the older brother of a friend of mine, and she thought I could help him see the missing piece. I agreed to meet with him over Zoom. He was direct and told me he wasn't sure why his sister wanted us to meet. I, too, was direct with him and shared that she watched him struggle in business -- and believed the work I do would be valuable to jumpstart new opportunities. I shared my desire to listen and be of service if he was interested. Still a bit bristly in his demeanor, he said he wanted to hear what I had to say. After I asked a few questions, over 30 minutes, he softened and started to open up about the business. I began putting the pieces together and could see that Siam thought he had to do business like everyone else, and it was killing him. He spent the last 24 months trying to grow the business with very little to show for it, and his confidence had taken a hit. I could see through his bravado with a whole lot of tenderness because I’ve been there. When you don’t stack the wins fast enough, everything around you starts to feel like a loss. You begin doubting your worth and value, and when that happens, ... ~ it’s hard to build a great website, ~ it's hard to write on social media, and ~ it's hard to attract the people you’re called to serve. Sometimes, you can't see what you need to shift, so you start chasing tactics trying to fix the problem. Rarely are tactics the issue for a stunted career or a stalled business venture. If you don’t first figure out who you are, what you want, and why it matters, none of the tactical elements for business growth will work for you. You've got to get clear on your mission, values, and vision. From there, you can look at patterns getting in the way. We all have blind spots, and no one can see their pitfalls on their own. When you get clarity, confidence follows. Then, bigger opportunities will start to show up. Yet, if you could see your blocks, you'd remove them. Siam got that he couldn’t walk this journey alone. The best leaders get it. To get the greatest ROI, focus on leadership. Focusing on tactics, technology, or other shiny objects won't get you the big paycheck. Siam and I worked together one-on-one, and he got his leadership IQ dialed in. I was also able to help him write new marketing materials -- after he got clear, and the results led to a 39% increase in business. Today, he’s making his mark on the world. Increase your leadership IQ because the world needs you and your brilliance.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify the one thing that is draining your energy and not delivering results. Maybe it’s a commitment that no longer aligns, a habit that is having you overwork, or a task someone else could handle. Let it go. Growth isn’t about doing more; it’s about making room for what truly matters. When you clear distractions, you create space for divine opportunities to flow. Today, remove one thing that’s holding you back and trust that what’s meant for you will rise in its place.

According to MIT professor Pierre Azoulay, who analyzed 2.7 million people who founded companies between 2007 and 2014, a person who starts a company at age 50 is TWICE as likely to get acquired or go public than a founder at 30. Here are some specific examples: ~ Vera Wang didn’t design a dress until she was 40. ~ Mary Kay Ash started Mary Kay Cosmetics at 45—the same age Henry Ford was when he created the world-changing Model T car in 1908. ~ Arianna Huffington started The Huffington Post when she was 55, and Louise Hay launched Hay House at 58. ~ Writer Harry Bernstein published his first book at 96—then went on to write three more before he died at 101, commenting that his 90s were the “most productive years” of his life. You have opportunities all around you. There will always be people who will tell you you're ~ Too old, ~ Too young, ~ Too inexperienced, ~ Too experienced, … …and the list goes on and on. Life happens in the here and now, moment by moment. Don’t subscribe to someone’s timeline for your life. Don’t let a fear-based approach put an expiration date on you or your dreams. You only get one life. I’ve had people tell me I should slow down, that at my age I should be content with what I’ve built. And I know in my soul—I’m just getting started. If you feel the same pull, a Private, Leadership Retreat might be the place to step away, challenge what’s holding you back, and step fully into what’s next. Be clear about Who You Are, What You Want, and Why it Matters, so you can do what you love—and keep doing it—from a place of choice. ... Because that’s how you get to the health, happiness, success, and meaning that will give you an inner peace that few folks ever get to experience in this lifetime.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine where you might have bought into a commonly held belief about who you are that gets in the way and limits what you want. Challenge it. Then, defy it. Choose an action step in direct opposition to that false belief. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. Now more than ever. Go shine your light. And at 55, I am clear I'm just getting started...

For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.

Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.

A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.