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3 Leadership Steps to Easily Move from Feeling Helpless to Hopeful

LisaMarie • Jun 14, 2021


Success coach and emotional resilience expert, Suzanne Dudley-Schon shares her brilliance in this week’s Upside Thought. 


Suzanne understands that the beingness of leadership matters more than the doingness of leadership. You can take all of the tactical leadership actions that generate success and not be a leader worth following. 


This week, she’s written about having the opportunity to practice mindfulness, her personal experiences from how to move out of overwhelm when situations and events are out of your control. 


Happy Reading! 


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When I read the newspaper or articles online, I find myself bracing and anxious. There is so much hardship and horror going on in the world– such that merely reading about it can activate the feeling of being under siege by an onslaught of insurmountable awfulness. 


The information is generally about situations over which I have very little control which adds to my sense of overwhelm and impotence. 


Whether activated by the news or just a seemingly endless to-do list, do you ever feel this way? 


I’d like to offer a pause, something to ponder, and perhaps a path to hopefulness. If you are willing, would you take three small steps with me? 


Step 1: Take at least three deep breaths. With each inhale through your nose, raise your arms and fill your lungs as much as possible. Exhale through your mouth as you lower the arms. Make sure to empty your lungs completely. Repeat until you feel yourself centering, mind and body settling. Notice this new state. How does it feel in your legs, arms, chest? 


Step 2: Consider the following: while there is plenty in life to cause a sense of stress and overwhelm in your life and in the greater world, there is also plenty of “eustress.” Eustress is “moderate or normal psychological stress interpreted as being beneficial for the experiencer.” 


Step 3: Can you choose one thing that you can take from your list of stressors and re-label it as being a eustress? For example– identify a particular disruption or challenge to your life that has induced growth or exposed potential? Just one. Focus on how you and what you learned how you have grown, and how you feel in response to that growth. 


We are being asked to think and act more consciously across many areas of our lives: how we speak, how we impact others and our environment, how we work and care for our health. I


n being asked to become aware newly, we notice more, and in doing so, we can see our own responsibility newly… and feel the weight of it. It can be quite uncomfortable! 


While no one wants to sign up for pain and discomfort… it’s in these moments/places where we have an opportunity to experience some of our most valuable learning. It’s a pivotal, powerful place to be. 


Our discomfort signals our bodies, hearts, and minds. It is a request to make an adjustment, to grow, to develop. 


Changes can be physical/external or internal. An adjustment may be what we need to do in order to get comfortable with something being different. Sometimes, what’s called for is an attitude shift or a growth edge around the acquisition of new skills again. 


In the new phase, there is often awkwardness. Unevenness of skills. Like a colt with long, gangly legs, it takes a while before getting coordinated, and in the gawky phase of growing, we learn a lot. It’s not always easy. We may stumble and fall on the way to a coherent gallop. 


The current “messiness” of life can impel and compel us to get creative, collaborate, and solve some complex problems from a very different consciousness. We might just come out the other side of this tumultuous time in much better shape. 


As we develop awareness and understanding, learning to use our new legs, remember to apply patience and perseverance. Feel free to repeat steps 1,2, and 3 … perhaps we’ll be waltzing before too long. 


ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. At least once a day. 


Keep a daily record of what you notice. 


At the end of the week, see if there has been a cumulative effect. 

By Lisa Marie Platske 29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself...  ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
By Lisa Marie Platske 22 Apr, 2024
Are you capable of disagreeing without contempt? Very few people truly are. One of the greatest flaws inhibiting great leadership is not being capable of having a civil disagreement. As Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated when he became chair of the National Governors Association, "Our country is deeply divided. We are facing a toxic debate unlike anything that we've seen since the Civil War...we have to find a better way." Cox didn't tell Americans to simply agree with each other. Instead, he acknowledged that healthy debates are "essential to a functioning political system." The critical point he made is that we must learn to disagree with less hostility. The ability to do this boils down to three key factors : Separating Leadership from Title True leaders don't let their position or authority make them think they are above disagreement or criticism. They understand that honest debates and differing perspectives are vital for growth, innovation and credible decision-making. True leadership is a calling, not a title. 2.aMastering Emotional Intelligence The best leaders have mastered this. They don't take criticisms or opposing viewpoints as personal affronts. They can engage debates without getting emotional or lashing out defensively. 3.aRaising the Level of Discourse The greatest leaders understand the vital need for respectful disagreement. They can passionately argue their stance without devolving into contempt for those who disagree. They stay focused on the issues instead of making it an ego battle over who is right or wrong. Through their example, they raise the level of discourse. Now, why are all these so important? Because despite our differences, the world desperately needs each person's unique brilliance and contributions. So take a look at how you handle disagreement and criticism. Do you fight contempt with more contempt? Or can you maintain poise and discuss opposing views rationally and respectfully? If we sat down for just 10 minutes, I could show you what to look for and how to develop this skill yourself. Because at the end of the day, you get to control how you respond when disagreements arise. Always check yourself before you wreck yourself. Control your emotions; don't let them control you. The best leaders get this. Remember... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to practice disagreeing without contempt. Notice when you find yourself in disagreement with someone - whether a close relation, colleague, public figure, etc. Before reacting, pause and get grounded. Check your emotional state and get in control of your reactions. State your differing view respectfully and try to understand the other perspective. Afterwards, reflect on how well you were able to disagree without devolving into bickering or hostility. What can you learn? Practice this critical skill this week.
By Lisa Marie Platske 18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske 29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself...  ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
By Lisa Marie Platske 22 Apr, 2024
Are you capable of disagreeing without contempt? Very few people truly are. One of the greatest flaws inhibiting great leadership is not being capable of having a civil disagreement. As Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated when he became chair of the National Governors Association, "Our country is deeply divided. We are facing a toxic debate unlike anything that we've seen since the Civil War...we have to find a better way." Cox didn't tell Americans to simply agree with each other. Instead, he acknowledged that healthy debates are "essential to a functioning political system." The critical point he made is that we must learn to disagree with less hostility. The ability to do this boils down to three key factors : Separating Leadership from Title True leaders don't let their position or authority make them think they are above disagreement or criticism. They understand that honest debates and differing perspectives are vital for growth, innovation and credible decision-making. True leadership is a calling, not a title. 2.aMastering Emotional Intelligence The best leaders have mastered this. They don't take criticisms or opposing viewpoints as personal affronts. They can engage debates without getting emotional or lashing out defensively. 3.aRaising the Level of Discourse The greatest leaders understand the vital need for respectful disagreement. They can passionately argue their stance without devolving into contempt for those who disagree. They stay focused on the issues instead of making it an ego battle over who is right or wrong. Through their example, they raise the level of discourse. Now, why are all these so important? Because despite our differences, the world desperately needs each person's unique brilliance and contributions. So take a look at how you handle disagreement and criticism. Do you fight contempt with more contempt? Or can you maintain poise and discuss opposing views rationally and respectfully? If we sat down for just 10 minutes, I could show you what to look for and how to develop this skill yourself. Because at the end of the day, you get to control how you respond when disagreements arise. Always check yourself before you wreck yourself. Control your emotions; don't let them control you. The best leaders get this. Remember... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to practice disagreeing without contempt. Notice when you find yourself in disagreement with someone - whether a close relation, colleague, public figure, etc. Before reacting, pause and get grounded. Check your emotional state and get in control of your reactions. State your differing view respectfully and try to understand the other perspective. Afterwards, reflect on how well you were able to disagree without devolving into bickering or hostility. What can you learn? Practice this critical skill this week.
By Lisa Marie Platske 18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
More Posts
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