How to Be Your Own Best Advocate
LisaMarie • October 4, 2021
In your workplace or business have you ever tried harder than ever to “make it work” only to keep re-living and trudging through the same situation over and over?
We can encounter these moments both personally and professionally, where it feels like the same day on repeat. (Like the movie, Groundhog Day)
Unfortunately, it’s all too common.
So, what can you do about it?
By being aware of the repeated pattern and your role in it, you’re on the road to a solution.
The thinking and actions that got you into that pattern are typically not going to get you out of it.
Interestingly, it can be even harder if you are an achiever with high standards and a high level of personal responsibility. (Responsibility is one of my core values)
If you’re the kind of person who is uber self-reliant, takes charge of a situation and works doggedly to fix it… often “alone”, that’s wonderful.
Until it isn’t.
Let me share the experience of a client of mine. She has a background in Information Technology.
She started decades ago before computers could be held in your hands or put on top of your desk.
She worked at a place that spoke about commitments to growth, healthy work culture, advancements based on merit and excellence.
After a few years, she noticed that unhealthy behaviors were tolerated, and at times, celebrated.
She kept quiet at first, then began to try to make changes.
She shared with a woman on the team and was told she was being “too sensitive” when she called out the behaviors.
Kind and compassionate by nature, she thought, she needed to change who she was.
Toughen up.
Try harder.
She was so committed to trying to make it better that she also began ignoring how tired and depressed she was.
She pushed harder.
She tried everything – from working 16-hours to get noticed, to introducing new projects, to speaking up about the discrepancies in expectations.
She saw bullying and verbal abuse was kept hidden and created a dysfunctional dynamic in the office.
While she confronted the leadership of the team, nothing was ever done.
Finally, being a courageous leader and willing to risk the right thing for herself, she became her own advocate and created a new opportunity.
She left the toxic environment and is in an excellent new job where her skills and sensitivity, and high standards are appreciated.
The commitment to a healthy work culture is not just something people talk about; it’s lived every day.
What can we learn from her and her experience?
~She took time to figure out if she was reading the situation correctly about the toxicity of her previous job situation.
~She tried taking actions to effect change.
~When those actions produced no change, she understood that she needed to do something different.
~She learned that in some cases, trying harder isn’t the solution.
~She was suffering and understood she couldn’t continue this way.
~When she understood the causes and situation were truly outside of her control, it wasn’t healthy to try to “fix”—herself or others. She recognized there was no willingness or invitation to change on the part of the company or individuals.
~She made choices for herself where she did have control. She became an advocate for herself, including asking for help. She put effort into taking actions for her highest and best good.
~She found a new job where she is appreciated and flourishing, and the organization is reaping the benefits of her talents, sensitivity, high standards, and expertise.
~She changed her world.
That’s how you do it.
That’s how we do it.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice if you have a chronic complaint or if you are suffering/enduring a situation.
Are you trying to fix something that isn’t under your control?
Explore what can you do (that IS under your control) to change what you are experiencing.
If you can’t see what to do or how, reach out to a coach or someone who may have insights or observations. Because… the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 22, 2025
Happiness, success, and meaning are drivers in my life. This is why I've never liked chit-chat, and why small talk makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as if I'm frittering away the precious minutes of my life. I want to engage in deep, meaningful conversations where the exchange of my time and yours creates something of value in the world. That and the ability to laugh at myself with someone who isn’t afraid of going deep while finding God funny, too. Time waits for no one. There are no extra minutes in your day. I remember being a kid and thinking 15 minutes took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to pass. Now, I feel as if I can blink and 15 minutes passes me by if I'm not intentional about how I invest it. This level of consciousness in the leadership space means that you understand the value of every "yes" and every "no" in your life and business. You don't have time to spend frivolously. Every minute on the clock counts — and pulls you closer to what you want and what you're here on the planet to do ... or it takes you further off-course. The choice is yours. So be deliberate. What you say yes to creates your future. Make time for the people, the spaces, and the work that reflect who you are. Because not everything deserves your energy. And you were never meant to move through this life distracted or disconnected. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track how you’re really spending your time. Choose one full workday and log your time. Not what you planned to do, track what you actually did. Use a simple tool like Toggl, RescueTime, Clockify, or even just a notebook and a timer. At the end of the day, review what you captured. What aligned with your mission? What pulled you off-course? What never should’ve made it on your plate in the first place? As a leader, your time is one of your greatest assets. Treat it with the same intentionality you bring to your vision. How you use your hours shapes the legacy you leave behind.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 15, 2025
I grew up watching my mother handle any obstacle life threw at her. I'm sure she cried herself to sleep many nights, yet she still got up every morning to raise me so I could grow up to be the person I am today. I am strong like her because I learned from the best. See, there are no handbooks for life. You do the best you can every day no matter what the world throws at you. When you do this, you develop an internal resilience that will have you handle more than you ever thought was possible. When Jim and I moved to Summit Hills Farm, I thought that because this was a divine assignment, things would come together beautifully. What showed up was nothing like what I would have created on a vision board. ~ The neighbors were less than friendly. ~ The previous owner didn't disclose lots of little things—that added up to some BIG things. ~ The house manager I'd worked with for 7 years left because of an arranged marriage, leaving me to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. My list could go on and on. Yet, I was pretty sure this was all designed for my highest and greatest good , no matter how it looked on the outside. My mom taught me the subtle art of resilience—and no matter what life threw my way, I was going to win. Because resilience doesn’t always look like a perfectly handled situation. Sometimes, it looks like staying rooted when the ground beneath you shifts. Sometimes, it’s in figuring things out when you feel completely unequipped. And sometimes, it’s simply choosing not to walk away when it would be easier to quit. Resilience is built in the small moments when no one sees you trying and still, you do. And it’s in those moments that your strength becomes something unshakeable. Just like my mother’s was. And now, just like mine is too. So if life feels heavy or messy right now, I want you to hear this: This isn’t the end of your story. You’re not being broken; you’re being prepared. You’re being strengthened for something greater than what you see right now. Keep showing up. Keep choosing to rise. There’s something in you this world needs and resilience is how it gets revealed. You’ve got this. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to make a list of 3 situations you handled well even if they didn’t feel like wins at the time. Think of moments when things didn’t go your way, yet you figured it out, stayed the course, or simply didn’t give up. Write them down. Then, beside each one, jot down what quality you showed—patience, resourcefulness, courage, faith. Let this be a reminder.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 8, 2025
I've been doing "behind the scenes" coaching for over a decade. Most folks who come to me seek to diagnose the wrong problem. You don't need more information or another book to read. You don't need more motivation or another podcast to fire you up. You don't even need more self-awareness, disguised as 50 hypothetical questions to answer. What most folks need is a little more quiet in their life. They need space to hear their Yes and NO clearly. They need the ability to pause before moving forward like a runaway freight train when making a decision. And that’s part of why I created the Upside Warrior Men’s Retreat. It’s not something flashy. In fact, it's happening quietly right now—intentionally designed to be an unhurried space for men to breathe, reset, and reconnect with the voice inside that knows what truly matters. See, most folks try to cram 25 hours or more into their 24-hour day, trying to win some imaginary productivity award. They've listened to one too many "expert" who tells them that only folks that are unmotivated and unfocused sleep in past 4:30am. If they want to be successful, they better know how to hustle. I bought into this bill of goods early in my career, believing that rest was for people who were lazy. What I've witnessed from folks who live this way is that they'll either: act out, burn out, or get sick. And I've walked that same path myself. When you give yourself space throughout the day, you begin connecting to an inner wisdom that will serve as a guide to making better decisions. And you get clarity on the first step to take ... and then the next. Life becomes more enjoyable and less of a marathon. So, wherever you are today—whether you’re running fast or finally catching your breath—I hope this serves as a gentle reminder: You don’t have to do more to be more. You don’t have to prove your worth through motion. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause... to make space and to listen for what’s next. That’s what this season has been about for me and for the men currently in retreat—creating space to hear what really matters. The truest one. And I want that for you too. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause instead of pushing forward. When you feel the urge to jump in, fix, respond, or say yes too quickly, choose stillness. Let presence lead. Pause before replying to a triggering email. Take a breath before offering a solution. Hold silence in a meeting instead of rushing to fill it. In those quiet moments, you may find that clarity, wisdom, and strength speak loudest when you do less, not more.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 1, 2025
Years ago, I thought I had to be friends with everyone I met. Growing up, I was told it was rude to exclude folks from your circle so I stopped being choosey and let EVERYONE in. This led to me being around folks who were upsetting to my system ... ... folks who were out of integrity with themselves ... folks who weren't trustworthy, and ... folks who didn't honor who I was. As a little girl, I spent time around folks who were like that and became numb to breaks in integrity. Back then, I didn't have the ability to discern the difference which is why the relationship I had with my grandparents was important. They lived their life honestly, despite the circumstances that often surrounded them. See my grandparents lived in the not-so-good part of town. My grandfather sat on the sofa with the police radio chatter in his ear all day long. Robberies, burglaries, and drug deals were all too common. They were woven into the fabric of the neighborhood. You could hear gunshots and police sirens throughout the day. Despite growing up with that all around me, my grandparents modeled having a strong work ethic and doing the right thing no matter what. Because when that's in the background, you unconsciously don't see the world as a safe place. My system was out of whack without me even knowing it. That's what I love so much about living at Summit Hills Farm. Every day, I get to spend time out in nature. Research shows that spending time in nature improves your physical and mental health. Being around the trees and walking on the land reduces stress, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces blood pressure. It calms the mind and body. See, I used to be an "All Are Welcome" kinda gal until I realized that wasn't healthy, and it didn't align with how God created me. I'm built to challenge ... to confront ... and to push folks past their growth edges. I'm not the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you need to hear. So this I tell you... It’s not about where you grew up or how much you’ve had to overcome. We’ve all got stories that carry both beauty and ache. What matters is whether you remember who you are in the middle of it all. For a long time, I wore openness like a badge of honor, until I realized I was handing out access to people who hadn’t earned the right to hold space with me. When you’re clear on who you are, what you want, and why it matters, you begin to choose differently. That’s the kind of work I’ve been doing quietly behind the scenes for years—helping leaders return to themselves. And it’s the heart behind the retreats like the Upside Warrior Men's Retreat Because when you create space to remember what’s true, you lead with more courage, more clarity, and more peace. And that changes everything. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to honor one aligned yes. Choose one area of your life—your calendar, a conversation, a commitment—and ask: Is this aligned with who I am and what I value? If it is, give it your full-hearted yes. If it’s not, lovingly release it. Saying yes to what aligns with you is how you build a life rooted in clarity, peace, and purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 22, 2025
Happiness, success, and meaning are drivers in my life. This is why I've never liked chit-chat, and why small talk makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as if I'm frittering away the precious minutes of my life. I want to engage in deep, meaningful conversations where the exchange of my time and yours creates something of value in the world. That and the ability to laugh at myself with someone who isn’t afraid of going deep while finding God funny, too. Time waits for no one. There are no extra minutes in your day. I remember being a kid and thinking 15 minutes took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to pass. Now, I feel as if I can blink and 15 minutes passes me by if I'm not intentional about how I invest it. This level of consciousness in the leadership space means that you understand the value of every "yes" and every "no" in your life and business. You don't have time to spend frivolously. Every minute on the clock counts — and pulls you closer to what you want and what you're here on the planet to do ... or it takes you further off-course. The choice is yours. So be deliberate. What you say yes to creates your future. Make time for the people, the spaces, and the work that reflect who you are. Because not everything deserves your energy. And you were never meant to move through this life distracted or disconnected. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track how you’re really spending your time. Choose one full workday and log your time. Not what you planned to do, track what you actually did. Use a simple tool like Toggl, RescueTime, Clockify, or even just a notebook and a timer. At the end of the day, review what you captured. What aligned with your mission? What pulled you off-course? What never should’ve made it on your plate in the first place? As a leader, your time is one of your greatest assets. Treat it with the same intentionality you bring to your vision. How you use your hours shapes the legacy you leave behind.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 15, 2025
I grew up watching my mother handle any obstacle life threw at her. I'm sure she cried herself to sleep many nights, yet she still got up every morning to raise me so I could grow up to be the person I am today. I am strong like her because I learned from the best. See, there are no handbooks for life. You do the best you can every day no matter what the world throws at you. When you do this, you develop an internal resilience that will have you handle more than you ever thought was possible. When Jim and I moved to Summit Hills Farm, I thought that because this was a divine assignment, things would come together beautifully. What showed up was nothing like what I would have created on a vision board. ~ The neighbors were less than friendly. ~ The previous owner didn't disclose lots of little things—that added up to some BIG things. ~ The house manager I'd worked with for 7 years left because of an arranged marriage, leaving me to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. My list could go on and on. Yet, I was pretty sure this was all designed for my highest and greatest good , no matter how it looked on the outside. My mom taught me the subtle art of resilience—and no matter what life threw my way, I was going to win. Because resilience doesn’t always look like a perfectly handled situation. Sometimes, it looks like staying rooted when the ground beneath you shifts. Sometimes, it’s in figuring things out when you feel completely unequipped. And sometimes, it’s simply choosing not to walk away when it would be easier to quit. Resilience is built in the small moments when no one sees you trying and still, you do. And it’s in those moments that your strength becomes something unshakeable. Just like my mother’s was. And now, just like mine is too. So if life feels heavy or messy right now, I want you to hear this: This isn’t the end of your story. You’re not being broken; you’re being prepared. You’re being strengthened for something greater than what you see right now. Keep showing up. Keep choosing to rise. There’s something in you this world needs and resilience is how it gets revealed. You’ve got this. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to make a list of 3 situations you handled well even if they didn’t feel like wins at the time. Think of moments when things didn’t go your way, yet you figured it out, stayed the course, or simply didn’t give up. Write them down. Then, beside each one, jot down what quality you showed—patience, resourcefulness, courage, faith. Let this be a reminder.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 8, 2025
I've been doing "behind the scenes" coaching for over a decade. Most folks who come to me seek to diagnose the wrong problem. You don't need more information or another book to read. You don't need more motivation or another podcast to fire you up. You don't even need more self-awareness, disguised as 50 hypothetical questions to answer. What most folks need is a little more quiet in their life. They need space to hear their Yes and NO clearly. They need the ability to pause before moving forward like a runaway freight train when making a decision. And that’s part of why I created the Upside Warrior Men’s Retreat. It’s not something flashy. In fact, it's happening quietly right now—intentionally designed to be an unhurried space for men to breathe, reset, and reconnect with the voice inside that knows what truly matters. See, most folks try to cram 25 hours or more into their 24-hour day, trying to win some imaginary productivity award. They've listened to one too many "expert" who tells them that only folks that are unmotivated and unfocused sleep in past 4:30am. If they want to be successful, they better know how to hustle. I bought into this bill of goods early in my career, believing that rest was for people who were lazy. What I've witnessed from folks who live this way is that they'll either: act out, burn out, or get sick. And I've walked that same path myself. When you give yourself space throughout the day, you begin connecting to an inner wisdom that will serve as a guide to making better decisions. And you get clarity on the first step to take ... and then the next. Life becomes more enjoyable and less of a marathon. So, wherever you are today—whether you’re running fast or finally catching your breath—I hope this serves as a gentle reminder: You don’t have to do more to be more. You don’t have to prove your worth through motion. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause... to make space and to listen for what’s next. That’s what this season has been about for me and for the men currently in retreat—creating space to hear what really matters. The truest one. And I want that for you too. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause instead of pushing forward. When you feel the urge to jump in, fix, respond, or say yes too quickly, choose stillness. Let presence lead. Pause before replying to a triggering email. Take a breath before offering a solution. Hold silence in a meeting instead of rushing to fill it. In those quiet moments, you may find that clarity, wisdom, and strength speak loudest when you do less, not more.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 1, 2025
Years ago, I thought I had to be friends with everyone I met. Growing up, I was told it was rude to exclude folks from your circle so I stopped being choosey and let EVERYONE in. This led to me being around folks who were upsetting to my system ... ... folks who were out of integrity with themselves ... folks who weren't trustworthy, and ... folks who didn't honor who I was. As a little girl, I spent time around folks who were like that and became numb to breaks in integrity. Back then, I didn't have the ability to discern the difference which is why the relationship I had with my grandparents was important. They lived their life honestly, despite the circumstances that often surrounded them. See my grandparents lived in the not-so-good part of town. My grandfather sat on the sofa with the police radio chatter in his ear all day long. Robberies, burglaries, and drug deals were all too common. They were woven into the fabric of the neighborhood. You could hear gunshots and police sirens throughout the day. Despite growing up with that all around me, my grandparents modeled having a strong work ethic and doing the right thing no matter what. Because when that's in the background, you unconsciously don't see the world as a safe place. My system was out of whack without me even knowing it. That's what I love so much about living at Summit Hills Farm. Every day, I get to spend time out in nature. Research shows that spending time in nature improves your physical and mental health. Being around the trees and walking on the land reduces stress, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces blood pressure. It calms the mind and body. See, I used to be an "All Are Welcome" kinda gal until I realized that wasn't healthy, and it didn't align with how God created me. I'm built to challenge ... to confront ... and to push folks past their growth edges. I'm not the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you need to hear. So this I tell you... It’s not about where you grew up or how much you’ve had to overcome. We’ve all got stories that carry both beauty and ache. What matters is whether you remember who you are in the middle of it all. For a long time, I wore openness like a badge of honor, until I realized I was handing out access to people who hadn’t earned the right to hold space with me. When you’re clear on who you are, what you want, and why it matters, you begin to choose differently. That’s the kind of work I’ve been doing quietly behind the scenes for years—helping leaders return to themselves. And it’s the heart behind the retreats like the Upside Warrior Men's Retreat Because when you create space to remember what’s true, you lead with more courage, more clarity, and more peace. And that changes everything. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to honor one aligned yes. Choose one area of your life—your calendar, a conversation, a commitment—and ask: Is this aligned with who I am and what I value? If it is, give it your full-hearted yes. If it’s not, lovingly release it. Saying yes to what aligns with you is how you build a life rooted in clarity, peace, and purpose.
