How to Be Your Own Best Advocate
LisaMarie • October 4, 2021
In your workplace or business have you ever tried harder than ever to “make it work” only to keep re-living and trudging through the same situation over and over?
We can encounter these moments both personally and professionally, where it feels like the same day on repeat. (Like the movie, Groundhog Day)
Unfortunately, it’s all too common.
So, what can you do about it?
By being aware of the repeated pattern and your role in it, you’re on the road to a solution.
The thinking and actions that got you into that pattern are typically not going to get you out of it.
Interestingly, it can be even harder if you are an achiever with high standards and a high level of personal responsibility. (Responsibility is one of my core values)
If you’re the kind of person who is uber self-reliant, takes charge of a situation and works doggedly to fix it… often “alone”, that’s wonderful.
Until it isn’t.
Let me share the experience of a client of mine. She has a background in Information Technology.
She started decades ago before computers could be held in your hands or put on top of your desk.
She worked at a place that spoke about commitments to growth, healthy work culture, advancements based on merit and excellence.
After a few years, she noticed that unhealthy behaviors were tolerated, and at times, celebrated.
She kept quiet at first, then began to try to make changes.
She shared with a woman on the team and was told she was being “too sensitive” when she called out the behaviors.
Kind and compassionate by nature, she thought, she needed to change who she was.
Toughen up.
Try harder.
She was so committed to trying to make it better that she also began ignoring how tired and depressed she was.
She pushed harder.
She tried everything – from working 16-hours to get noticed, to introducing new projects, to speaking up about the discrepancies in expectations.
She saw bullying and verbal abuse was kept hidden and created a dysfunctional dynamic in the office.
While she confronted the leadership of the team, nothing was ever done.
Finally, being a courageous leader and willing to risk the right thing for herself, she became her own advocate and created a new opportunity.
She left the toxic environment and is in an excellent new job where her skills and sensitivity, and high standards are appreciated.
The commitment to a healthy work culture is not just something people talk about; it’s lived every day.
What can we learn from her and her experience?
~She took time to figure out if she was reading the situation correctly about the toxicity of her previous job situation.
~She tried taking actions to effect change.
~When those actions produced no change, she understood that she needed to do something different.
~She learned that in some cases, trying harder isn’t the solution.
~She was suffering and understood she couldn’t continue this way.
~When she understood the causes and situation were truly outside of her control, it wasn’t healthy to try to “fix”—herself or others. She recognized there was no willingness or invitation to change on the part of the company or individuals.
~She made choices for herself where she did have control. She became an advocate for herself, including asking for help. She put effort into taking actions for her highest and best good.
~She found a new job where she is appreciated and flourishing, and the organization is reaping the benefits of her talents, sensitivity, high standards, and expertise.
~She changed her world.
That’s how you do it.
That’s how we do it.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice if you have a chronic complaint or if you are suffering/enduring a situation.
Are you trying to fix something that isn’t under your control?
Explore what can you do (that IS under your control) to change what you are experiencing.
If you can’t see what to do or how, reach out to a coach or someone who may have insights or observations. Because… the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 13, 2025
Jason struggled for years, trying everything he knew to do. First, he rebuilt his website. Then, he spent money getting people to listen to his podcast. Next, he mapped out a social media strategy with a digital marketing agency. Lastly, he went all in on paid advertising. He was working long hours and missing out on time with his family. And Jason’s bank account kept shrinking. He couldn’t figure out why nothing seemed to be working. That’s when we met. Jason was the older brother of a friend of mine, and she thought I could help him see the missing piece. I agreed to meet with him over Zoom. He was direct and told me he wasn’t sure why his sister wanted us to talk. I was direct with him, too, and shared that she had been watching him struggle in business, and believed the work I do could help jumpstart new opportunities. I shared my desire to listen and be of service — if he was open. Still a bit bristly in his demeanor, he said he wanted to hear what I had to say. After I asked a few questions, in about 30 minutes, he softened and started to open up about what was really going on behind closed doors in his business. I began putting the pieces together and could see that Jason thought he had to do business like everyone else — and it was killing him. He had spent the last 24 months trying to grow the business with very little to show for it, and his confidence had taken a hit. I saw through his bravado with a whole lot of tenderness — because I’ve been there. When you don’t stack the wins, everything around you starts to feel like a loss. You begin doubting your worth and value. And when that happens … ~ it’s hard to build a great website ... ~ it’s hard to write on social media ... ~ and it’s hard to attract the people you’re called to serve. Sometimes you can’t see what you need to shift, so you start chasing tactics trying to fix the problem. Rarely are tactics the issue behind a stunted career or a stalled business venture. If you don’t first figure out who you are, what you want, and why it matters, none of those other things will work for you. Then, you’ve got to get clear on your mission, values, and vision. From there, I look at the patterns that have been showing up. No one can see their own. When you get that all dialed in, bigger opportunities start to show up. Why? Because you’re contributing to the world unencumbered. And if you could see your own blocks, you’d already have removed them. Jason realized he couldn’t walk this journey alone any longer. The best leaders get that. So to get the greatest ROI, focus on leadership. Focusing on tactics, technology, AI, or other shiny objects won’t bring in the big paycheck. Jason and I worked together one-on-one and got his leadership IQ dialed in. Once he had clarity, I helped him write new marketing materials… …and the results were astounding — a 23% increase in gross sales. Today, he’s making a mark on the world. Jason didn’t need another strategy. He needed to remember who he was. And when he did, everything changed. This isn’t just Jason’s story. It’s the story of so many leaders who are gifted yet weighed down by things that aren’t theirs to carry. The world will always offer you another formula, another shortcut, or another distraction dressed up as the answer. None of it works if you’re disconnected from your mission and you’ve lost sight of your value. Leadership begins within. And real, soul-deep success is built on purpose, not performance. So if you’ve been chasing tactics and still feel like something’s missing, maybe it’s time to stop running and come home to yourself. That’s where your greatest work begins. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to assess what’s driving your actions. Are you doing this because it’s aligned — or because you think you should? For this week, write down the top 3 things you’re doing right now to grow your business or leadership. For each one, ask: Is this aligned with my mission or driven by pressure or expectation? Circle the one that feels most out of alignment, and then pause it for the next 7 days and notice what shifts. You don’t need to do more; you need to move with clarity.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 13, 2025
Jason struggled for years, trying everything he knew to do. First, he rebuilt his website. Then, he spent money getting people to listen to his podcast. Next, he mapped out a social media strategy with a digital marketing agency. Lastly, he went all in on paid advertising. He was working long hours and missing out on time with his family. And Jason’s bank account kept shrinking. He couldn’t figure out why nothing seemed to be working. That’s when we met. Jason was the older brother of a friend of mine, and she thought I could help him see the missing piece. I agreed to meet with him over Zoom. He was direct and told me he wasn’t sure why his sister wanted us to talk. I was direct with him, too, and shared that she had been watching him struggle in business, and believed the work I do could help jumpstart new opportunities. I shared my desire to listen and be of service — if he was open. Still a bit bristly in his demeanor, he said he wanted to hear what I had to say. After I asked a few questions, in about 30 minutes, he softened and started to open up about what was really going on behind closed doors in his business. I began putting the pieces together and could see that Jason thought he had to do business like everyone else — and it was killing him. He had spent the last 24 months trying to grow the business with very little to show for it, and his confidence had taken a hit. I saw through his bravado with a whole lot of tenderness — because I’ve been there. When you don’t stack the wins, everything around you starts to feel like a loss. You begin doubting your worth and value. And when that happens … ~ it’s hard to build a great website ... ~ it’s hard to write on social media ... ~ and it’s hard to attract the people you’re called to serve. Sometimes you can’t see what you need to shift, so you start chasing tactics trying to fix the problem. Rarely are tactics the issue behind a stunted career or a stalled business venture. If you don’t first figure out who you are, what you want, and why it matters, none of those other things will work for you. Then, you’ve got to get clear on your mission, values, and vision. From there, I look at the patterns that have been showing up. No one can see their own. When you get that all dialed in, bigger opportunities start to show up. Why? Because you’re contributing to the world unencumbered. And if you could see your own blocks, you’d already have removed them. Jason realized he couldn’t walk this journey alone any longer. The best leaders get that. So to get the greatest ROI, focus on leadership. Focusing on tactics, technology, AI, or other shiny objects won’t bring in the big paycheck. Jason and I worked together one-on-one and got his leadership IQ dialed in. Once he had clarity, I helped him write new marketing materials… …and the results were astounding — a 23% increase in gross sales. Today, he’s making a mark on the world. Jason didn’t need another strategy. He needed to remember who he was. And when he did, everything changed. This isn’t just Jason’s story. It’s the story of so many leaders who are gifted yet weighed down by things that aren’t theirs to carry. The world will always offer you another formula, another shortcut, or another distraction dressed up as the answer. None of it works if you’re disconnected from your mission and you’ve lost sight of your value. Leadership begins within. And real, soul-deep success is built on purpose, not performance. So if you’ve been chasing tactics and still feel like something’s missing, maybe it’s time to stop running and come home to yourself. That’s where your greatest work begins. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to assess what’s driving your actions. Are you doing this because it’s aligned — or because you think you should? For this week, write down the top 3 things you’re doing right now to grow your business or leadership. For each one, ask: Is this aligned with my mission or driven by pressure or expectation? Circle the one that feels most out of alignment, and then pause it for the next 7 days and notice what shifts. You don’t need to do more; you need to move with clarity.
