Unspoken Qualities that Create Partnership through Leadership
Lisa Marie Platske • September 30, 2024
Pillar #3 in my 7 Pillars of Leadership is all about building partnerships.
Why?
Because connection is a form of currency – and partnerships give you the ability to leverage your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences.
If you want to move through life with ease and peace – and make the work you do more fulfilling, you don’t go it alone.
The children’s story ‘Stone Soup’ depicts the concept beautifully, illustrating the skills and qualities of exceptional leadership.
I’ve added my commentary in parentheses to emphasize who he is being - and where the qualities of empathy, inspiration, compassion, generosity, and connection are all present. Read how he paints a vision ... and brings it to life.
“Once upon a time, a wise old man decided to go on a journey.
So he packed a small bag, said goodbye to his wife, and set off. He traveled all day without meeting anyone.
When it was evening, he came to a small village. “I think I’ll stop here for the night,” he said to himself.
Near the center of the village, he met a group of people.
So he introduced himself. “I’m a simple traveler,” he said, “looking for a safe place to sleep and a hot meal.”
(The traveler is wise, yet unassuming.)
“We’d be glad to offer you a place to sleep,” the villagers told him, “but we have very little food.
Our crops were very poor this year, and there’s not much to eat in the whole village. Most of us are just barely getting by.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” the old man said. “But you needn’t worry about feeding me. I already have everything I need. In fact, I was thinking of making some stone soup to share with all of you.”
(He listens, soothes the villagers’ worries, and offers to be of help with a specific act of generosity that he can do.)
“Stone soup?” the villagers asked. “What’s that? We’ve never heard of stone soup.”
“Oh, it’s wonderful,” said the old man. “Best soup I’ve ever tasted. If you bring me a soup pot and some water, I’ll make some for all of us.”
(He is positive, generous, and offers a vision of hope.)
And so the villagers rushed back to their homes. When they returned, one was carrying a large soup pot, another had wood for a fire, and others brought water.
When the fire was going and the water had begun to boil, the old man took out a small silk pouch.
With great ceremony, he reached in and pulled out a smooth, round stone. He carefully dropped the stone into the boiling water.
The villagers watched eagerly. The old man began to slowly stir the pot, sniffing the aroma and licking his lips in anticipation. “I do like a tasty stone soup,” he said. “Of course, stone soup with cabbage—now that’s really special.” (He gently guides them, inspires them with what might be to come.)
“I might be able to find a bit of cabbage,” one villager said. And off she went to her house, returning with a small cabbage she had stored away in her pantry.
“Wonderful!” said the old man, as he added the cabbage to the pot. “This reminds me of the time I had stone soup with cabbage and a bit of salted beef. It was unbelievably good.”
(From his suggestions, individuals voluntarily step forward, taking action, doing their part to contribute to the effort.)
After a moment of silence, the village butcher spoke up. “I know where there’s a bit of salted beef,” he said. And off he went to his shop to get it.
When he returned, the old man added the beef to the soup pot and continued to stir.
(And, again, in reflection, an individual thinks of what he can offer, and goes to follow through on his commitment.)
“Can you imagine what this soup would taste like if we had a bit of onion…and perhaps a few potatoes…and a carrot or two…and some mushrooms. Oh, this would be a meal fit for royalty.”
(With each step, the wise man adds idea and paints details to the vision so that it becomes more clear and thus inspiring. He creates momentum.)
And before he knew it, the soup pot was filled to the brim with vegetables of all kinds— carrots and potatoes, mushrooms and onions, turnips and green beans, beets and celery—all brought by the men and women and children of the village.
Not only that, but the village baker came out with some fresh bread and butter.
And as the soup simmered slowly over the fire, the wonderful aroma began to waft over the villagers. And they began to relax and talk together, sharing songs and stories and jokes.
(Together, a magnificent meal is “built” seemingly from what had been believed to be, “little” to eat, and so many struggling to get by.
He reduced their sense of worry and impoverishment, showing them the wealth they had in working together. )
When the soup was finally done, the old man ladled it out into bowls, and they all shared a delicious meal together.
There was more than enough for everyone to eat their fill.
Afterward, they all declared that it was the best soup they had ever tasted.
The mayor of the village pulled the old man aside, and quietly offered him a great deal of money for the magic stone, but the old man refused to sell it.
(The wise man creates and enjoys the collective effort, and does not take unfair advantage of his leadership. He keeps to the initial contract – a request for lodging and a hot meal.)
The next morning, he woke early and packed up his belongings.
As he was leaving the village, he passed by a group of children playing at the side of the road. He handed the youngest one the silk pouch containing the stone, and he whispered, “It was not the stone that performed the magic. It was all of us together.”
(He passes along wisdom, giving it freely and joyfully so that others may benefit after he's is gone. He leaves behind a modest, empowering legacy.)
The qualities and skills demonstrated in the story of the Stone Soup are deceptively simple. Partnership, Connection, and Community.
Sometimes you have to unlearn what you've been taught ... and write a new story to remember the power of partnership
ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to reflect on when and where you have made stone soup in your business or community.
Gather your partners up.
Decide on a recipe.
Make something delicious. Because the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 28, 2025
I was often annoyed when my cross-country coach would tell me to just believe in myself and envision crossing the finish line. “You’ve just got to believe in yourself.” Really?!? That’s it?!? If it were that simple, everyone would be doing it. And yet… it is that simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy. True belief in oneself takes effort and energy. It demands commitment and discipline. It’s not a quick fix or a motivational phrase you tape to the mirror and forget about the next day. It’s a muscle, a spiritual one and an emotional one that has to be exercised over and over again. There’s a reason most people give up before they ever reach the vision they once felt called to pursue. Somewhere along the way, their belief in themselves got buried beneath fear, fatigue, or comparison. When I look back at everything I've accomplished in my life, it was never complicated to get to the finish line. What it did require was consistent, often uncomfortable action, especially when I felt like I had very little left in my tank. I had to get quiet and reconnect with the vision. I had to remind myself why it mattered and I had to move forward even when the circumstances didn’t look favorable. ~ Some days I doubted my book would ever get published. (I’ve written 7.) ~ Some days I doubted if anyone would ever buy a ticket to one of my events. (I’ve hosted the Upside Summit for 18 years—and people kept coming back.) ~ Some days I doubted whether I'd ever get another client. (And yet, I’ve worked with over 100,000 leaders in the past 20 years.) It’s easy to look at the outcome and assume the path was certain. In each milestone, it was preceded by a moment of doubt—a moment that required me to choose belief over fear. The doubts were real. So was the belief that somehow, some way, the pieces would come together. Some days, it was my faith in God that pulled me through. Other days, it was a conversation with a friend, a coach, or a mentor. Truthfully, sometimes I needed all three. Because every great leader knows that no one goes it alone. And you do have to believe in yourself—and believe that where you're going is worthwhile to keep going. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify where you need more belief in yourself right now. Is there a decision you’ve been avoiding because doubt is louder than faith? Is there a dream you’ve shelved because the finish line feels far away? Whether it’s making a call, saying yes to help, or simply declaring out loud what you truly want… Do it. Remember, simple isn’t easy. Yet it is possible. And it’s worth it.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 21, 2025
Have you ever been stuck in a long line, wishing you could just march right up to the front? When I was in my 30s, that’s exactly what my friends did at a local nightclub. At the time, I was mortified. Yet, deep down inside I thought it was the coolest thing. They carried themselves like they belonged, like they didn’t need anyone’s permission to take up space. I remember thinking… maybe that’s what leadership looks like. Take the risk. Be bold. Do what it takes to get ahead. It felt like confidence. It looked like power. And I'll admit ... there are times in my life when I made decisions based on how cool I thought something would make me vs. whether I thought it was the right thing to do. Over time, I’ve learned that what’s cool rarely aligns with what’s truly lasting. Cool fades. Purpose endures. It’s easy to be drawn to what turns heads or makes a strong impression and harder to stay anchored in what’s true, especially when it means standing alone. Leadership asks something deeper from you. It requires a willingness to listen for what’s real. To live with alignment. To walk forward even when no one’s clapping. And that's one of the hardest lines to walk in leadership. Every day you'll be confronted with decisions that will challenge you in ways that you never imagined. They will put your moral and ethical code on trial or out for bid to the highest buyer. If you make your decisions based on what you see others around you doing, or what the media says is "normal", you'll always fall short from what God has in store for you. When I first started my career in Federal law enforcement, I saw the world through a lens of good and evil. There was no middle or grey area. And then, over time, I watched colleagues make decisions that didn't sit well with me. Behaviors that left me questioning what the "right" thing to do, has challenged my moral fiber. We all carried the same badge. We all have the same set of credentials that read, " This officer possesses integrity. " Yet one of my closest partners made choices that eventually landed him in jail and serving time for his choices. Leadership will reveal what’s underneath. This is why the people around you deeply matter. When things get uncomfortable (and they will), you need to be surrounded by people who call you higher. People who see you for who you are and who you're becoming. That’s the sacred space we’re creating at the Upside Retreats. So here’s the invitation: Is it time to pause and look at the decisions you’ve been making? Is it time to notice who’s around you and whether those voices are helping you stay grounded in truth? Is it time to re-commit to who you are, what you want, and why that matters? Because life has never needed more cool leaders. It needs more aligned ones. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to step back from chasing what looks shiny and start leaning into what’s actually meaningful. Begin by making a list of three things you’ve recently said “yes” to because they sounded impressive or exciting. Then, identify the one that feels least aligned with your values or your calling and take one clear step back from it. That might mean turning down the next opportunity, rescheduling a commitment, or resetting expectations. Use the time and energy you free up to invest in something that may not be flashy yet fuels your deeper purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 14, 2025
I consulted with a potential client who had started a business and was making gobs of money. He shared with me that the downside was he has to deal with folks who don't do the right thing morally and ethically in running their business. Because he knew it and it didn't align with who he was, he was struggling and it was keeping him up at night. He was conflicted and wanted to talk it out with me. While I understood the struggle he was having between his mind and his Soul, I'm not an answer machine. I don't tell folks what to do. What I did tell him was that there are 6 Leadership Stepping Stones that lead to mastery. Make a misstep, and it may cost you your livelihood. That's the best way I can explain the importance of listening to your Soul's deepest wisdom. Years ago, I got myself in a jam not heeding this piece of advice. Someone I knew through a friend of a friend wanted to sponsor my annual leadership conference. Every time we got on the phone, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that what they were saying just didn't add up. Some folks would say this is intuition. I've known it to be the voice of the Holy Spirit trying to give me direction. Even though I knew something was off, I said yes to the money. And it ended up costing me. How many times have you made mistakes like that... just because the money seemed too good to pass up? Listening isn't something that is always easy to do. You've got to be clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters. After making one too many costly mistakes on my leadership journey, I decided that I was done trying to do it all on my own. The level of clarity I now have is perplexing to most folks. Yet this internal compass guides me throughout each day. When you're connected to this type of wisdom, you don't waste your time making decisions that take you off course, even for a split second. You move forward steadily with an ease that is hard to put into words. And the money always follows. There’s a cost to ignoring what you know deep down to be true. Whether it’s a gut instinct, your inner voice, or the prompting of the Holy Spirit, when you override it, you pay. I’ve paid. So has the leader I consulted with. Success without alignment will always leave you restless. And real clarity doesn’t come from grinding harder or checking more boxes. It comes when you stop long enough to listen to what your Soul is trying to say. It’s why I no longer walk alone. Because every leader needs space to sort through what matters most. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where you're choosing based on money and take one step toward alignment instead. Maybe it’s a client you’ve outgrown, yet you keep them because they pay on time. Maybe it’s an offer that feels off, even if it looks impressive. Maybe it’s a deal you’re rushing into just to hit a number. Pause. Check in. Then choose the path that brings clarity and is aligned, not just cash. Notice what opens up when you trust alignment over urgency.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 7, 2025
Independence Day has just passed, and this year, it holds even deeper meaning for me. Twenty years ago, right around this time of year, I made a decision that would forever change my life. Back then, I believed leadership was about tactics. ~ How well you could communicate. ~ How skillfully you could negotiate. ~ How strategically you could build influence. I threw myself into learning every tool, every technique, every system I could find. I believed that if I mastered the tactical side of leadership, success would naturally follow. For a while, it looked like it was working. I traveled, I spoke, I trained leaders across industries. I had a seat at the table where big decisions were made. From the outside, everything seemed to be lining up the way it should. Inside, though, something was missing. No matter how many tools I taught, no matter how many strategies people mastered, they kept coming back saying, "It’s still not working." If I was honest, I felt the same way too. It was not a tactical problem. It was a spiritual one. In the early years, I spent all my energy giving people what I thought they needed. I handed them the best "wineskins" the world had to offer. The Bible talks about wineskins, and how you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. If you do, the skins will burst and the wine will spill. The old wineskin, the way of doing leadership without being deeply connected to your Divine purpose, was not producing fruit - not lasting fruit. When I finally saw that, everything shifted. It became clear that leadership was not about tactics alone. ~ It was about who you are, what you want and why it matters. ~ It was about uncovering the Divine purpose planted within you before the world told you who you should be. Because if you are not aligned with your purpose, it does not matter how many tools you master. The foundation will not hold and the fruit will not last. Today, my work looks very different than it did twenty years ago. I still share tools, and I still value practical skills. These are important. They only make a lasting impact, when the heart-work is done first. That is why I created the Upside Leaders program , the Upside Retreats , and the Upside Thinking Live . Each one is designed to help you anchor deeply into your who you are, what you want and why it matters, so you can lead from a place of truth, not just tactics. As I celebrate this milestone, I want to thank you. Whether you have been part of this community for years or you just recently joined, you are part of the story that God continues to write. And there is so much more ahead... ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set a timer for 10 minutes and create a " Release and Receive" list. Write down one habit, strategy, or belief about leadership that no longer aligns with who you are, then physically cross it off, shred it, or throw it away as a sign of release. Immediately after, write one new action you will take this week that reflects the leader you are being shaped into and schedule it on your calendar. Transformation does not happen by wishing for change, it happens when you move in faith toward it.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 28, 2025
I was often annoyed when my cross-country coach would tell me to just believe in myself and envision crossing the finish line. “You’ve just got to believe in yourself.” Really?!? That’s it?!? If it were that simple, everyone would be doing it. And yet… it is that simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy. True belief in oneself takes effort and energy. It demands commitment and discipline. It’s not a quick fix or a motivational phrase you tape to the mirror and forget about the next day. It’s a muscle, a spiritual one and an emotional one that has to be exercised over and over again. There’s a reason most people give up before they ever reach the vision they once felt called to pursue. Somewhere along the way, their belief in themselves got buried beneath fear, fatigue, or comparison. When I look back at everything I've accomplished in my life, it was never complicated to get to the finish line. What it did require was consistent, often uncomfortable action, especially when I felt like I had very little left in my tank. I had to get quiet and reconnect with the vision. I had to remind myself why it mattered and I had to move forward even when the circumstances didn’t look favorable. ~ Some days I doubted my book would ever get published. (I’ve written 7.) ~ Some days I doubted if anyone would ever buy a ticket to one of my events. (I’ve hosted the Upside Summit for 18 years—and people kept coming back.) ~ Some days I doubted whether I'd ever get another client. (And yet, I’ve worked with over 100,000 leaders in the past 20 years.) It’s easy to look at the outcome and assume the path was certain. In each milestone, it was preceded by a moment of doubt—a moment that required me to choose belief over fear. The doubts were real. So was the belief that somehow, some way, the pieces would come together. Some days, it was my faith in God that pulled me through. Other days, it was a conversation with a friend, a coach, or a mentor. Truthfully, sometimes I needed all three. Because every great leader knows that no one goes it alone. And you do have to believe in yourself—and believe that where you're going is worthwhile to keep going. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify where you need more belief in yourself right now. Is there a decision you’ve been avoiding because doubt is louder than faith? Is there a dream you’ve shelved because the finish line feels far away? Whether it’s making a call, saying yes to help, or simply declaring out loud what you truly want… Do it. Remember, simple isn’t easy. Yet it is possible. And it’s worth it.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 21, 2025
Have you ever been stuck in a long line, wishing you could just march right up to the front? When I was in my 30s, that’s exactly what my friends did at a local nightclub. At the time, I was mortified. Yet, deep down inside I thought it was the coolest thing. They carried themselves like they belonged, like they didn’t need anyone’s permission to take up space. I remember thinking… maybe that’s what leadership looks like. Take the risk. Be bold. Do what it takes to get ahead. It felt like confidence. It looked like power. And I'll admit ... there are times in my life when I made decisions based on how cool I thought something would make me vs. whether I thought it was the right thing to do. Over time, I’ve learned that what’s cool rarely aligns with what’s truly lasting. Cool fades. Purpose endures. It’s easy to be drawn to what turns heads or makes a strong impression and harder to stay anchored in what’s true, especially when it means standing alone. Leadership asks something deeper from you. It requires a willingness to listen for what’s real. To live with alignment. To walk forward even when no one’s clapping. And that's one of the hardest lines to walk in leadership. Every day you'll be confronted with decisions that will challenge you in ways that you never imagined. They will put your moral and ethical code on trial or out for bid to the highest buyer. If you make your decisions based on what you see others around you doing, or what the media says is "normal", you'll always fall short from what God has in store for you. When I first started my career in Federal law enforcement, I saw the world through a lens of good and evil. There was no middle or grey area. And then, over time, I watched colleagues make decisions that didn't sit well with me. Behaviors that left me questioning what the "right" thing to do, has challenged my moral fiber. We all carried the same badge. We all have the same set of credentials that read, " This officer possesses integrity. " Yet one of my closest partners made choices that eventually landed him in jail and serving time for his choices. Leadership will reveal what’s underneath. This is why the people around you deeply matter. When things get uncomfortable (and they will), you need to be surrounded by people who call you higher. People who see you for who you are and who you're becoming. That’s the sacred space we’re creating at the Upside Retreats. So here’s the invitation: Is it time to pause and look at the decisions you’ve been making? Is it time to notice who’s around you and whether those voices are helping you stay grounded in truth? Is it time to re-commit to who you are, what you want, and why that matters? Because life has never needed more cool leaders. It needs more aligned ones. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to step back from chasing what looks shiny and start leaning into what’s actually meaningful. Begin by making a list of three things you’ve recently said “yes” to because they sounded impressive or exciting. Then, identify the one that feels least aligned with your values or your calling and take one clear step back from it. That might mean turning down the next opportunity, rescheduling a commitment, or resetting expectations. Use the time and energy you free up to invest in something that may not be flashy yet fuels your deeper purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 14, 2025
I consulted with a potential client who had started a business and was making gobs of money. He shared with me that the downside was he has to deal with folks who don't do the right thing morally and ethically in running their business. Because he knew it and it didn't align with who he was, he was struggling and it was keeping him up at night. He was conflicted and wanted to talk it out with me. While I understood the struggle he was having between his mind and his Soul, I'm not an answer machine. I don't tell folks what to do. What I did tell him was that there are 6 Leadership Stepping Stones that lead to mastery. Make a misstep, and it may cost you your livelihood. That's the best way I can explain the importance of listening to your Soul's deepest wisdom. Years ago, I got myself in a jam not heeding this piece of advice. Someone I knew through a friend of a friend wanted to sponsor my annual leadership conference. Every time we got on the phone, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that what they were saying just didn't add up. Some folks would say this is intuition. I've known it to be the voice of the Holy Spirit trying to give me direction. Even though I knew something was off, I said yes to the money. And it ended up costing me. How many times have you made mistakes like that... just because the money seemed too good to pass up? Listening isn't something that is always easy to do. You've got to be clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters. After making one too many costly mistakes on my leadership journey, I decided that I was done trying to do it all on my own. The level of clarity I now have is perplexing to most folks. Yet this internal compass guides me throughout each day. When you're connected to this type of wisdom, you don't waste your time making decisions that take you off course, even for a split second. You move forward steadily with an ease that is hard to put into words. And the money always follows. There’s a cost to ignoring what you know deep down to be true. Whether it’s a gut instinct, your inner voice, or the prompting of the Holy Spirit, when you override it, you pay. I’ve paid. So has the leader I consulted with. Success without alignment will always leave you restless. And real clarity doesn’t come from grinding harder or checking more boxes. It comes when you stop long enough to listen to what your Soul is trying to say. It’s why I no longer walk alone. Because every leader needs space to sort through what matters most. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where you're choosing based on money and take one step toward alignment instead. Maybe it’s a client you’ve outgrown, yet you keep them because they pay on time. Maybe it’s an offer that feels off, even if it looks impressive. Maybe it’s a deal you’re rushing into just to hit a number. Pause. Check in. Then choose the path that brings clarity and is aligned, not just cash. Notice what opens up when you trust alignment over urgency.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
July 7, 2025
Independence Day has just passed, and this year, it holds even deeper meaning for me. Twenty years ago, right around this time of year, I made a decision that would forever change my life. Back then, I believed leadership was about tactics. ~ How well you could communicate. ~ How skillfully you could negotiate. ~ How strategically you could build influence. I threw myself into learning every tool, every technique, every system I could find. I believed that if I mastered the tactical side of leadership, success would naturally follow. For a while, it looked like it was working. I traveled, I spoke, I trained leaders across industries. I had a seat at the table where big decisions were made. From the outside, everything seemed to be lining up the way it should. Inside, though, something was missing. No matter how many tools I taught, no matter how many strategies people mastered, they kept coming back saying, "It’s still not working." If I was honest, I felt the same way too. It was not a tactical problem. It was a spiritual one. In the early years, I spent all my energy giving people what I thought they needed. I handed them the best "wineskins" the world had to offer. The Bible talks about wineskins, and how you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. If you do, the skins will burst and the wine will spill. The old wineskin, the way of doing leadership without being deeply connected to your Divine purpose, was not producing fruit - not lasting fruit. When I finally saw that, everything shifted. It became clear that leadership was not about tactics alone. ~ It was about who you are, what you want and why it matters. ~ It was about uncovering the Divine purpose planted within you before the world told you who you should be. Because if you are not aligned with your purpose, it does not matter how many tools you master. The foundation will not hold and the fruit will not last. Today, my work looks very different than it did twenty years ago. I still share tools, and I still value practical skills. These are important. They only make a lasting impact, when the heart-work is done first. That is why I created the Upside Leaders program , the Upside Retreats , and the Upside Thinking Live . Each one is designed to help you anchor deeply into your who you are, what you want and why it matters, so you can lead from a place of truth, not just tactics. As I celebrate this milestone, I want to thank you. Whether you have been part of this community for years or you just recently joined, you are part of the story that God continues to write. And there is so much more ahead... ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set a timer for 10 minutes and create a " Release and Receive" list. Write down one habit, strategy, or belief about leadership that no longer aligns with who you are, then physically cross it off, shred it, or throw it away as a sign of release. Immediately after, write one new action you will take this week that reflects the leader you are being shaped into and schedule it on your calendar. Transformation does not happen by wishing for change, it happens when you move in faith toward it.
