How to Master the Art of Connection – What Great Leaders Do
Lisa Marie Platske • November 6, 2018
The first day at Design Your Destiny Live, I share with the audience that I’m a social introvert.
And, while I have learned how to be less socially awkward, I’m still an introvert and re-charge by resting and being by myself.
My reason for disclosing this at the beginning of the event is so that people understand when we take a break, I really need to be quiet.
I don’t stay in the room and mix and mingle – or strike up conversations.
With my handler by my side, I head off to the green room, close my eyes, and seek to re-charge my energy supply.
Sometimes I even get 10 minutes of body work or do a prayerful meditation.
It’s just enough time to fuel up my power source and get back on stage for another module.
I also rarely attend evening events – and am not one of those people who is the center of attention at a party.
At social events, I’m usually off to the side, having a conversation with someone I already know.
Yet, I realize the value of connection – which is why I’ve written 2 books on the topic and have an entire section dedicated to building powerful partnerships at Design Your Destiny Live.
When I was working in Federal law enforcement, there was a time in my career where the guys didn’t really want to work with me.
They did their best to make my life a living nightmare – and I was really struggling.
After signing up for a 7-month leadership course offered in partnership with the United Way and Rutgers University, I finally got the significance of understanding the art of connection — how to connect with others.
I realized the importance of forging new relationships – and how they opened the door to opportunities, income, and influence.
Despite my discomfort in large groups of people, I have gone to my share of networking events and worked on building what today I lovingly refer to as my “billion-dollar database of friends with business benefits.”
The relationships I’ve cultivated have paid me big dividends over the years – and I have one of the best networks of anyone I know.
Growing my business has been a lot easier because of the relationships I’ve built over time.
And, that’s important.
I’ve built them over time – not all at once.
And, I’ve cultivated them, like tending to a garden.
I’m also clear that connection is both art and science.
What are signs of tripping up or stumbling in this area of connection?
- When someone talks about what they do but you don’t really understood what they said they did.
- When someone (perhaps me) says, “You need powerful partnerships. ….” And you think, “Sure. But, where do I even start?!?”
- When you simply feel worn out by all the juggling all there is to do to grow your network.
- When you run around trying to meet people, online and off, and you think you’re connecting, however, you really just end up having one polite conversation after another.
- When you sincerely want to make a difference in the world and you’ve got this great product or service — and yet nobody seems to be listening let alone buying.
Well, the 1st blunder is that connection does not equate to sales, nor is it a means to solely market your product or service.
Connection is a linking up of two or more entities – and for me, this linking leads to potential powerful partnerships where more good can be created in the world by our synergies.
The 1st key in mastering the art of connection is CLARITY – crafting your road map.
For many people, clarity is a challenge.
In your mind, you may be clear about who you are, and what you are good at, however, are you good at communicating it in a clear and concise way?
Does your listener or reader really understand what it is you do, and more importantly, who you are?
In 2007, I wrote “Designing Your Destiny” because none of my clients at the time could answer these three (3) questions with ease within the five (5) minutes I gave them.
- Who are you?
- What do you do? Or better yet, What do you want?
- Why does it matter?
Ultimately, these questions give you insight into your ideal connection.
Are you clear what you are trying to achieve?
Do you understand the outcome you expect for — not just from — your clients, partners, and team? (Be as specific as possible.)
Are you clear about what you can offer and what you want potential connections to do next?
To attract great connections that open the doors of opportunity for you, it doesn’t matter whether you own your own business, or work for someone else. In either case, you need to identify who you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there by using a written plan.
If you haven’t identified where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine your level of clarity for connection. On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being the highest), how clear are you when answering the 3+ questions?
Connection is the thing.
And, the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 6, 2025
Each person’s life force is different. Some people move through life full throttle, operating at a level 10 every day and moving around at Mach speed. Others max out at five—or even one or two reps per minute. On any given day, you wake up with a certain amount of energy to work with. And you get to make decisions about what to do with that energy. Of all the actions you could possibly take, do you focus on what matters most to you? As the day unfolds, your life force begins to decrease. And when you’re not clear about what you say yes to, or what you say no to, you may discover there’s nothing left for what matters most. How you arrange your days, rhythm, and relationships determines whether your life and business will be sustainable over time. Most people move through life as if they’ve got an endless supply of energy to pull from. And when they don’t get everything done on their never-ending task list, they look around and assume they must be doing something wrong. Playing the comparison game will never lead you to health, happiness, success, or meaning. It won’t get you to peace or ease, either. What it will do is drain you ... quietly and consistently. Until you’re moving through your days exhausted, wondering why everything feels off. You weren’t made to run on empty. You wake up each day with a limited amount of life force. And where you invest it determines what grows. That’s the shift I help leaders make—honoring their capacity, aligning with what matters, and choosing to lead from a place of deep integrity and ease. Because the world doesn’t need a burnt-out version of you. It needs you and the brilliance only you carry. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track your energy. Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Label one side “ Life-Giving ” and the other “ Draining .” As you go through your day, notice what energizes you and what depletes you. Write it down. Then, choose one draining item to shift, delegate, delay, or delete this week. Your energy is sacred and make sure to protect it.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 29, 2025
Everyone has seeds of excellence inside them. When those seeds are planted in rich and fertile soil, they grow into something magnificent, something life-giving. I see it as your brilliance coming to life. When those seeds are thrown on rocky soil with the hopes of producing fruit, its chances of surviving are slim. No matter what you're journey has been or what heartaches you may be experiencing now, you can always cultivate new soil. Yet I'm clear that to do that takes effort, purpose, and intention. Whenever I have conversations with folks who aren't happy with how they're life is going, they often bypass the little actions that produce big results over time . The key words are over time . Most folks want results yesterday ... and feel to see all of the ways that their current actions have gotten them right where they are. Looking in the mirror with 100% honesty isn't all that easy to do. I used to want to be the best or I didn't want to play. I remember this clearly when I was on the cross country team when I was in high school. It wasn't that others were more talented. God had given me a runners' build, and I enjoyed running. Yet I wasn't all that committed to practicing, and so when it was race time, I did poorly. Today I'm clear that if I can't be consistent, it isn't something I really want. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. Stay the course. The seeds you plant today may not bear fruit tomorrow. That doesn’t mean the work is wasted. What matters is that they’re sown with intention. Keep tending to what matters most. Keep showing up with courage and care. The world needs what only you can grow. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one part of your leadership that truly matters and pursue excellence in it. Pick a task or responsibility that holds weight in your role. Something that influences your business direction or shapes how your people grow. Then, take time to explore the latest trends or shifts in that space. Staying informed keeps your leadership relevant. Staying intentional keeps it aligned.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 22, 2025
Happiness, success, and meaning are drivers in my life. This is why I've never liked chit-chat, and why small talk makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as if I'm frittering away the precious minutes of my life. I want to engage in deep, meaningful conversations where the exchange of my time and yours creates something of value in the world. That and the ability to laugh at myself with someone who isn’t afraid of going deep while finding God funny, too. Time waits for no one. There are no extra minutes in your day. I remember being a kid and thinking 15 minutes took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to pass. Now, I feel as if I can blink and 15 minutes passes me by if I'm not intentional about how I invest it. This level of consciousness in the leadership space means that you understand the value of every "yes" and every "no" in your life and business. You don't have time to spend frivolously. Every minute on the clock counts — and pulls you closer to what you want and what you're here on the planet to do ... or it takes you further off-course. The choice is yours. So be deliberate. What you say yes to creates your future. Make time for the people, the spaces, and the work that reflect who you are. Because not everything deserves your energy. And you were never meant to move through this life distracted or disconnected. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track how you’re really spending your time. Choose one full workday and log your time. Not what you planned to do, track what you actually did. Use a simple tool like Toggl, RescueTime, Clockify, or even just a notebook and a timer. At the end of the day, review what you captured. What aligned with your mission? What pulled you off-course? What never should’ve made it on your plate in the first place? As a leader, your time is one of your greatest assets. Treat it with the same intentionality you bring to your vision. How you use your hours shapes the legacy you leave behind.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 15, 2025
I grew up watching my mother handle any obstacle life threw at her. I'm sure she cried herself to sleep many nights, yet she still got up every morning to raise me so I could grow up to be the person I am today. I am strong like her because I learned from the best. See, there are no handbooks for life. You do the best you can every day no matter what the world throws at you. When you do this, you develop an internal resilience that will have you handle more than you ever thought was possible. When Jim and I moved to Summit Hills Farm, I thought that because this was a divine assignment, things would come together beautifully. What showed up was nothing like what I would have created on a vision board. ~ The neighbors were less than friendly. ~ The previous owner didn't disclose lots of little things—that added up to some BIG things. ~ The house manager I'd worked with for 7 years left because of an arranged marriage, leaving me to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. My list could go on and on. Yet, I was pretty sure this was all designed for my highest and greatest good , no matter how it looked on the outside. My mom taught me the subtle art of resilience—and no matter what life threw my way, I was going to win. Because resilience doesn’t always look like a perfectly handled situation. Sometimes, it looks like staying rooted when the ground beneath you shifts. Sometimes, it’s in figuring things out when you feel completely unequipped. And sometimes, it’s simply choosing not to walk away when it would be easier to quit. Resilience is built in the small moments when no one sees you trying and still, you do. And it’s in those moments that your strength becomes something unshakeable. Just like my mother’s was. And now, just like mine is too. So if life feels heavy or messy right now, I want you to hear this: This isn’t the end of your story. You’re not being broken; you’re being prepared. You’re being strengthened for something greater than what you see right now. Keep showing up. Keep choosing to rise. There’s something in you this world needs and resilience is how it gets revealed. You’ve got this. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to make a list of 3 situations you handled well even if they didn’t feel like wins at the time. Think of moments when things didn’t go your way, yet you figured it out, stayed the course, or simply didn’t give up. Write them down. Then, beside each one, jot down what quality you showed—patience, resourcefulness, courage, faith. Let this be a reminder.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 6, 2025
Each person’s life force is different. Some people move through life full throttle, operating at a level 10 every day and moving around at Mach speed. Others max out at five—or even one or two reps per minute. On any given day, you wake up with a certain amount of energy to work with. And you get to make decisions about what to do with that energy. Of all the actions you could possibly take, do you focus on what matters most to you? As the day unfolds, your life force begins to decrease. And when you’re not clear about what you say yes to, or what you say no to, you may discover there’s nothing left for what matters most. How you arrange your days, rhythm, and relationships determines whether your life and business will be sustainable over time. Most people move through life as if they’ve got an endless supply of energy to pull from. And when they don’t get everything done on their never-ending task list, they look around and assume they must be doing something wrong. Playing the comparison game will never lead you to health, happiness, success, or meaning. It won’t get you to peace or ease, either. What it will do is drain you ... quietly and consistently. Until you’re moving through your days exhausted, wondering why everything feels off. You weren’t made to run on empty. You wake up each day with a limited amount of life force. And where you invest it determines what grows. That’s the shift I help leaders make—honoring their capacity, aligning with what matters, and choosing to lead from a place of deep integrity and ease. Because the world doesn’t need a burnt-out version of you. It needs you and the brilliance only you carry. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track your energy. Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Label one side “ Life-Giving ” and the other “ Draining .” As you go through your day, notice what energizes you and what depletes you. Write it down. Then, choose one draining item to shift, delegate, delay, or delete this week. Your energy is sacred and make sure to protect it.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 29, 2025
Everyone has seeds of excellence inside them. When those seeds are planted in rich and fertile soil, they grow into something magnificent, something life-giving. I see it as your brilliance coming to life. When those seeds are thrown on rocky soil with the hopes of producing fruit, its chances of surviving are slim. No matter what you're journey has been or what heartaches you may be experiencing now, you can always cultivate new soil. Yet I'm clear that to do that takes effort, purpose, and intention. Whenever I have conversations with folks who aren't happy with how they're life is going, they often bypass the little actions that produce big results over time . The key words are over time . Most folks want results yesterday ... and feel to see all of the ways that their current actions have gotten them right where they are. Looking in the mirror with 100% honesty isn't all that easy to do. I used to want to be the best or I didn't want to play. I remember this clearly when I was on the cross country team when I was in high school. It wasn't that others were more talented. God had given me a runners' build, and I enjoyed running. Yet I wasn't all that committed to practicing, and so when it was race time, I did poorly. Today I'm clear that if I can't be consistent, it isn't something I really want. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. Stay the course. The seeds you plant today may not bear fruit tomorrow. That doesn’t mean the work is wasted. What matters is that they’re sown with intention. Keep tending to what matters most. Keep showing up with courage and care. The world needs what only you can grow. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one part of your leadership that truly matters and pursue excellence in it. Pick a task or responsibility that holds weight in your role. Something that influences your business direction or shapes how your people grow. Then, take time to explore the latest trends or shifts in that space. Staying informed keeps your leadership relevant. Staying intentional keeps it aligned.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 22, 2025
Happiness, success, and meaning are drivers in my life. This is why I've never liked chit-chat, and why small talk makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as if I'm frittering away the precious minutes of my life. I want to engage in deep, meaningful conversations where the exchange of my time and yours creates something of value in the world. That and the ability to laugh at myself with someone who isn’t afraid of going deep while finding God funny, too. Time waits for no one. There are no extra minutes in your day. I remember being a kid and thinking 15 minutes took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to pass. Now, I feel as if I can blink and 15 minutes passes me by if I'm not intentional about how I invest it. This level of consciousness in the leadership space means that you understand the value of every "yes" and every "no" in your life and business. You don't have time to spend frivolously. Every minute on the clock counts — and pulls you closer to what you want and what you're here on the planet to do ... or it takes you further off-course. The choice is yours. So be deliberate. What you say yes to creates your future. Make time for the people, the spaces, and the work that reflect who you are. Because not everything deserves your energy. And you were never meant to move through this life distracted or disconnected. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track how you’re really spending your time. Choose one full workday and log your time. Not what you planned to do, track what you actually did. Use a simple tool like Toggl, RescueTime, Clockify, or even just a notebook and a timer. At the end of the day, review what you captured. What aligned with your mission? What pulled you off-course? What never should’ve made it on your plate in the first place? As a leader, your time is one of your greatest assets. Treat it with the same intentionality you bring to your vision. How you use your hours shapes the legacy you leave behind.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 15, 2025
I grew up watching my mother handle any obstacle life threw at her. I'm sure she cried herself to sleep many nights, yet she still got up every morning to raise me so I could grow up to be the person I am today. I am strong like her because I learned from the best. See, there are no handbooks for life. You do the best you can every day no matter what the world throws at you. When you do this, you develop an internal resilience that will have you handle more than you ever thought was possible. When Jim and I moved to Summit Hills Farm, I thought that because this was a divine assignment, things would come together beautifully. What showed up was nothing like what I would have created on a vision board. ~ The neighbors were less than friendly. ~ The previous owner didn't disclose lots of little things—that added up to some BIG things. ~ The house manager I'd worked with for 7 years left because of an arranged marriage, leaving me to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. My list could go on and on. Yet, I was pretty sure this was all designed for my highest and greatest good , no matter how it looked on the outside. My mom taught me the subtle art of resilience—and no matter what life threw my way, I was going to win. Because resilience doesn’t always look like a perfectly handled situation. Sometimes, it looks like staying rooted when the ground beneath you shifts. Sometimes, it’s in figuring things out when you feel completely unequipped. And sometimes, it’s simply choosing not to walk away when it would be easier to quit. Resilience is built in the small moments when no one sees you trying and still, you do. And it’s in those moments that your strength becomes something unshakeable. Just like my mother’s was. And now, just like mine is too. So if life feels heavy or messy right now, I want you to hear this: This isn’t the end of your story. You’re not being broken; you’re being prepared. You’re being strengthened for something greater than what you see right now. Keep showing up. Keep choosing to rise. There’s something in you this world needs and resilience is how it gets revealed. You’ve got this. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to make a list of 3 situations you handled well even if they didn’t feel like wins at the time. Think of moments when things didn’t go your way, yet you figured it out, stayed the course, or simply didn’t give up. Write them down. Then, beside each one, jot down what quality you showed—patience, resourcefulness, courage, faith. Let this be a reminder.
