How to Master the Art of Connection – What Great Leaders Do
Lisa Marie Platske • November 6, 2018
The first day at Design Your Destiny Live, I share with the audience that I’m a social introvert.
And, while I have learned how to be less socially awkward, I’m still an introvert and re-charge by resting and being by myself.
My reason for disclosing this at the beginning of the event is so that people understand when we take a break, I really need to be quiet.
I don’t stay in the room and mix and mingle – or strike up conversations.
With my handler by my side, I head off to the green room, close my eyes, and seek to re-charge my energy supply.
Sometimes I even get 10 minutes of body work or do a prayerful meditation.
It’s just enough time to fuel up my power source and get back on stage for another module.
I also rarely attend evening events – and am not one of those people who is the center of attention at a party.
At social events, I’m usually off to the side, having a conversation with someone I already know.
Yet, I realize the value of connection – which is why I’ve written 2 books on the topic and have an entire section dedicated to building powerful partnerships at Design Your Destiny Live.
When I was working in Federal law enforcement, there was a time in my career where the guys didn’t really want to work with me.
They did their best to make my life a living nightmare – and I was really struggling.
After signing up for a 7-month leadership course offered in partnership with the United Way and Rutgers University, I finally got the significance of understanding the art of connection — how to connect with others.
I realized the importance of forging new relationships – and how they opened the door to opportunities, income, and influence.
Despite my discomfort in large groups of people, I have gone to my share of networking events and worked on building what today I lovingly refer to as my “billion-dollar database of friends with business benefits.”
The relationships I’ve cultivated have paid me big dividends over the years – and I have one of the best networks of anyone I know.
Growing my business has been a lot easier because of the relationships I’ve built over time.
And, that’s important.
I’ve built them over time – not all at once.
And, I’ve cultivated them, like tending to a garden.
I’m also clear that connection is both art and science.
What are signs of tripping up or stumbling in this area of connection?
- When someone talks about what they do but you don’t really understood what they said they did.
- When someone (perhaps me) says, “You need powerful partnerships. ….” And you think, “Sure. But, where do I even start?!?”
- When you simply feel worn out by all the juggling all there is to do to grow your network.
- When you run around trying to meet people, online and off, and you think you’re connecting, however, you really just end up having one polite conversation after another.
- When you sincerely want to make a difference in the world and you’ve got this great product or service — and yet nobody seems to be listening let alone buying.
Well, the 1st blunder is that connection does not equate to sales, nor is it a means to solely market your product or service.
Connection is a linking up of two or more entities – and for me, this linking leads to potential powerful partnerships where more good can be created in the world by our synergies.
The 1st key in mastering the art of connection is CLARITY – crafting your road map.
For many people, clarity is a challenge.
In your mind, you may be clear about who you are, and what you are good at, however, are you good at communicating it in a clear and concise way?
Does your listener or reader really understand what it is you do, and more importantly, who you are?
In 2007, I wrote “Designing Your Destiny” because none of my clients at the time could answer these three (3) questions with ease within the five (5) minutes I gave them.
- Who are you?
- What do you do? Or better yet, What do you want?
- Why does it matter?
Ultimately, these questions give you insight into your ideal connection.
Are you clear what you are trying to achieve?
Do you understand the outcome you expect for — not just from — your clients, partners, and team? (Be as specific as possible.)
Are you clear about what you can offer and what you want potential connections to do next?
To attract great connections that open the doors of opportunity for you, it doesn’t matter whether you own your own business, or work for someone else. In either case, you need to identify who you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there by using a written plan.
If you haven’t identified where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine your level of clarity for connection. On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being the highest), how clear are you when answering the 3+ questions?
Connection is the thing.
And, the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 25, 2025
Most folks understand the concept of rest. When you expend "x" amount of energy, your body is going to require you to replenish. Yet there's a certain type of weariness that no amount of sleep will produce the feeling of being energized in your body. When you're exhausted to the core, and it feels as if you've been wrung out like a dish rag, that level of fatigue is only overcome by giving your Soul rest. Living in a world where books about how to achieve more are plentiful, this isn't a conversation that's abundant in the business space. You've got to know how to hustle and grind when things get tough. I grew up hearing, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I never heard about The Power of the Pause, or refueling my Soul. And so I pushed. And pushed a little more. And a little more. And figured I was just doing life wrong as all I got was more and more tired ... and a little bit angrier on the inside. Rest isn't about sleep. It's about peace. When you operate from this place, the trials that you face are easier to handle. If you spend your precious minutes criticizing, worrying, or comparing yourself to others, you cannot live your best life and lead others effectively. Out-of-control emotions fueled by fear or anxiety may make you feel as if there's more for you to do or you're not doing enough. Yet that's just fear. ~ Fear of getting something wrong and messing up your life ~ Fear of not figuring out what you're 'supposed' to be doing ~ Fear of disappointing yourself and others if you do or don't do something I could go on and on. Just pick one. And fear can be exhausting. It steals your peace, clouds your judgment, and keeps you stuck in cycles that wear you down from the inside out. This is why I’ve devoted my life’s work to walking alongside purpose-led leaders. Because I’ve seen what happens when you try to push through that kind of soul-deep fatigue alone or to keep going because people are counting on you, even when you’re running on fumes. And I also know what’s possible when you choose to lead from a place of alignment, when your soul is at peace, not just your calendar. Because when you lead from real rest, you show up steady and with ease. That kind of leadership is born from surrender. So pause. Set down the pressure to prove. Rest. Rest your mind from overthinking. Rest your spirit from striving. And most of all, rest in God. Remember, the world needs you and brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and realign before your next move. In the middle of your busy day, before you jump into the next task, stop. Take a deep breath and ground yourself. Ask this clearly: Is this the work I’m called to do right now? Does it align with who I am and the purpose I carry? If it doesn’t, lean into the wisdom to delegate or let it go. Leading well means knowing where to invest your energy and where to release control. This pause is a moment to realign your body, mind, and spirit so you lead from peace, clarity, and strength.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 18, 2025
Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. One of my favorite movie lines comes from "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" when Dev Patel says, " Everything will be alright in the end, so if it's not alright it's not the end. " There is a 2nd part of his quote that few folks remember - and that is, " The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. " I get that it’s not always been easy for you. It may feel like heartache and disappointment show up around every corner. Yet I hope you can see how everything that happens to you can be turned into good. I recently asked a client if they believed that God made mistakes—and they said "no". So if God doesn't make mistakes and all is perfect, then every situation, time, and place you've been in has been given to you for a reason. And they paused, sighed, and agreed. This is why I believe so much in the sovereignty of your being, and your ability to live from a place of choice and intention. When you get this, it makes you different than the many others on the planet who complain about their fate or circumstances. Courageous leadership takes, well, courage. You were never promised easy on your journey—and you can create ease and grace by remembering that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your destiny. That’s the foundation I built my business on. When I first began creating my programs and retreats, I didn’t do it because it was simple or convenient. I did it because I saw a gap between where people were and who they were called to be. I knew the pain of disappointment and the ache of untapped potential and I also knew there was a way through it with purpose, alignment, and leadership. So I started small. One courageous moment at a time. Each program, each retreat, each private session was designed to meet people right where they were and help them rise. I believe you can rise, too. There is more for you. There is so much more within you. Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. Go shine your light. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stand tall—literally. Each morning this week, before you start your day, stand up, roll your shoulders back, plant your feet firmly, and take one deep breath as if you’re stepping fully into your purpose. Then do one round of box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Exhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Repeat this cycle twice. Let your body remember: You are the captain of your destiny. You are walking in purpose. You are ready for what’s next.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 10, 2025
Napoleon Hill wrote how thought was the source of all riches, material, physical, and/or spiritual. Then, when I read an excerpt from his Positive Mental Attitude Success Course, I was reminded of the value of mentorship. To multiply your mind power, you can’t go it alone. He recommended having at least 4 types of talent in your life: a spiritual adviser, a financial adviser, a health adviser, and a personal adviser. Without ever reading his curriculum, I recognize it’s how I’ve set up my life. Because to get what you want ... you can’t do it alone. Lord knows I've tried ... Growing up, I was afraid of making a mistake or misstep. I walked on eggshells every day. This put an immense amount of pressure on me. Imagine trying to be perfect! Looking back, I could see that the grown-ups around me had made some big mistakes that led to some pretty unhappy results. My little girl self didn't want to suffer through any unnecessary painful circumstances so I took it upon myself to try for straight A's in life. This led to learning how to lie to look good and cover up the mistakes I made. The harder I tried, the more I just couldn't figure out how to get it right 100% of the time. By the time I got to my 30's, I realized I had to figure out how to get along with disappointment and imperfection. Trying to live like this was stressful - and I was tired of trying to do life on my own. I didn't have to be best friends with imperfection, however, we did need to hang out once in a while. :) That's when I got my first mentor in Federal law enforcement. He was the person I called when I just couldn't figure something out. Looking back, he was like a secret weapon in my career path, steering me from potential minefields every week. I'm not sure I would have survived some of my assignments without him. Over the years, there have been countless guides, mentors, allies, and coaches that have advised me on different legs of my journey. What most people fail to see are the dozens of folks that are standing behind the leader. Mentorship is essential. And it’s not just about strategy or success. It’s about alignment and surrounding yourself with people who speak life into your purpose and hold you to the highest version of yourself, even when you’re in the valley. You were never meant to carry the weight of leadership by yourself. You may be the one out front, yet you’re not supposed to be the only one in the fight. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re the only one who gets it, this is your invitation. Get your people. The breakthrough you’ve been praying for might not come through hustle. It might come through alignment. This is the season to walk with wise counsel. Because no leader goes it alone, not one who finishes well. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify who’s in your corner. Take 10 minutes this week to reflect on the four types of advisers Napoleon Hill spoke about: Spiritual Financial Health Personal Now, write down one name for each category, someone you trust or could reach out to. If you come up short, don’t panic. Instead, choose one category where you feel the most need and reach out to someone this week. Ask for a conversation, schedule a coffee, or simply send a message of appreciation and curiosity. You don’t have to build your circle overnight. You just have to start. Because the path to wisdom, clarity, and strength begins with one brave ask.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 4, 2025
Fifteen years ago, a Chinese medicine doctor read my bloodwork and told me if things didn’t change I would have less energy in 5 years, and people would tell me it was just aging. That one conversation has led me on a long journey with a singular desire: to be a more optimal version of who I am in all areas of my life. Over the years, things would happen in my life that would take me off-course. Behaviors and habits that once seemed manageable, at times felt impossible. Inevitably, my long-time commitment to healthy living was something that got challenged regularly by the people around me, family and friends alike. There have been several times on this journey where I will wake up, understanding something I'm doing needs to change. Immediately. I can't always put my finger on why, yet the signs are there. Going through the motions without the incredible excitement I used to feel about my business A growing task list Questioning my ability My answer used to be to ignore my physical health and just work longer hours hoping to push through what felt like a slump. When I listen to the prompting that something needs to change, I re-commit to what matters most. The longer I've done this, the more I've realized that I can only be healthy in mind and spirit when I'm healthy in my body. And this is one of the reasons we talk about the brain and sleep in the Upside Leaders Program. Because how you treat your body directly affects how you lead. Now, I’m taking more breaks than ever before, and have plenty of space to take regular walks and trail hikes on the farm. All of this allows me to move with intention throughout the day, living moment by moment. What’s been fascinating is that since I've done this bigger opportunities continue to come my way. It’s not the hustle that opens doors. it’s being aligned with who you are, what you want and why it matters. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop and ask yourself: Where do you need to make a shift? God often reveals the need for a shift long before we act on it. It can be a strained schedule, a restless spirit, or a body that’s run down. Then take one aligned action. It can be clearing space on your calendar. Or going for a walk without your phone. Or going to bed earlier. The action doesn’t have to be dramatic and you don’t need to overhaul your life. It just needs to be intentional.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 25, 2025
Most folks understand the concept of rest. When you expend "x" amount of energy, your body is going to require you to replenish. Yet there's a certain type of weariness that no amount of sleep will produce the feeling of being energized in your body. When you're exhausted to the core, and it feels as if you've been wrung out like a dish rag, that level of fatigue is only overcome by giving your Soul rest. Living in a world where books about how to achieve more are plentiful, this isn't a conversation that's abundant in the business space. You've got to know how to hustle and grind when things get tough. I grew up hearing, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I never heard about The Power of the Pause, or refueling my Soul. And so I pushed. And pushed a little more. And a little more. And figured I was just doing life wrong as all I got was more and more tired ... and a little bit angrier on the inside. Rest isn't about sleep. It's about peace. When you operate from this place, the trials that you face are easier to handle. If you spend your precious minutes criticizing, worrying, or comparing yourself to others, you cannot live your best life and lead others effectively. Out-of-control emotions fueled by fear or anxiety may make you feel as if there's more for you to do or you're not doing enough. Yet that's just fear. ~ Fear of getting something wrong and messing up your life ~ Fear of not figuring out what you're 'supposed' to be doing ~ Fear of disappointing yourself and others if you do or don't do something I could go on and on. Just pick one. And fear can be exhausting. It steals your peace, clouds your judgment, and keeps you stuck in cycles that wear you down from the inside out. This is why I’ve devoted my life’s work to walking alongside purpose-led leaders. Because I’ve seen what happens when you try to push through that kind of soul-deep fatigue alone or to keep going because people are counting on you, even when you’re running on fumes. And I also know what’s possible when you choose to lead from a place of alignment, when your soul is at peace, not just your calendar. Because when you lead from real rest, you show up steady and with ease. That kind of leadership is born from surrender. So pause. Set down the pressure to prove. Rest. Rest your mind from overthinking. Rest your spirit from striving. And most of all, rest in God. Remember, the world needs you and brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and realign before your next move. In the middle of your busy day, before you jump into the next task, stop. Take a deep breath and ground yourself. Ask this clearly: Is this the work I’m called to do right now? Does it align with who I am and the purpose I carry? If it doesn’t, lean into the wisdom to delegate or let it go. Leading well means knowing where to invest your energy and where to release control. This pause is a moment to realign your body, mind, and spirit so you lead from peace, clarity, and strength.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 18, 2025
Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. One of my favorite movie lines comes from "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" when Dev Patel says, " Everything will be alright in the end, so if it's not alright it's not the end. " There is a 2nd part of his quote that few folks remember - and that is, " The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. " I get that it’s not always been easy for you. It may feel like heartache and disappointment show up around every corner. Yet I hope you can see how everything that happens to you can be turned into good. I recently asked a client if they believed that God made mistakes—and they said "no". So if God doesn't make mistakes and all is perfect, then every situation, time, and place you've been in has been given to you for a reason. And they paused, sighed, and agreed. This is why I believe so much in the sovereignty of your being, and your ability to live from a place of choice and intention. When you get this, it makes you different than the many others on the planet who complain about their fate or circumstances. Courageous leadership takes, well, courage. You were never promised easy on your journey—and you can create ease and grace by remembering that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your destiny. That’s the foundation I built my business on. When I first began creating my programs and retreats, I didn’t do it because it was simple or convenient. I did it because I saw a gap between where people were and who they were called to be. I knew the pain of disappointment and the ache of untapped potential and I also knew there was a way through it with purpose, alignment, and leadership. So I started small. One courageous moment at a time. Each program, each retreat, each private session was designed to meet people right where they were and help them rise. I believe you can rise, too. There is more for you. There is so much more within you. Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. Go shine your light. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stand tall—literally. Each morning this week, before you start your day, stand up, roll your shoulders back, plant your feet firmly, and take one deep breath as if you’re stepping fully into your purpose. Then do one round of box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Exhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Repeat this cycle twice. Let your body remember: You are the captain of your destiny. You are walking in purpose. You are ready for what’s next.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 10, 2025
Napoleon Hill wrote how thought was the source of all riches, material, physical, and/or spiritual. Then, when I read an excerpt from his Positive Mental Attitude Success Course, I was reminded of the value of mentorship. To multiply your mind power, you can’t go it alone. He recommended having at least 4 types of talent in your life: a spiritual adviser, a financial adviser, a health adviser, and a personal adviser. Without ever reading his curriculum, I recognize it’s how I’ve set up my life. Because to get what you want ... you can’t do it alone. Lord knows I've tried ... Growing up, I was afraid of making a mistake or misstep. I walked on eggshells every day. This put an immense amount of pressure on me. Imagine trying to be perfect! Looking back, I could see that the grown-ups around me had made some big mistakes that led to some pretty unhappy results. My little girl self didn't want to suffer through any unnecessary painful circumstances so I took it upon myself to try for straight A's in life. This led to learning how to lie to look good and cover up the mistakes I made. The harder I tried, the more I just couldn't figure out how to get it right 100% of the time. By the time I got to my 30's, I realized I had to figure out how to get along with disappointment and imperfection. Trying to live like this was stressful - and I was tired of trying to do life on my own. I didn't have to be best friends with imperfection, however, we did need to hang out once in a while. :) That's when I got my first mentor in Federal law enforcement. He was the person I called when I just couldn't figure something out. Looking back, he was like a secret weapon in my career path, steering me from potential minefields every week. I'm not sure I would have survived some of my assignments without him. Over the years, there have been countless guides, mentors, allies, and coaches that have advised me on different legs of my journey. What most people fail to see are the dozens of folks that are standing behind the leader. Mentorship is essential. And it’s not just about strategy or success. It’s about alignment and surrounding yourself with people who speak life into your purpose and hold you to the highest version of yourself, even when you’re in the valley. You were never meant to carry the weight of leadership by yourself. You may be the one out front, yet you’re not supposed to be the only one in the fight. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re the only one who gets it, this is your invitation. Get your people. The breakthrough you’ve been praying for might not come through hustle. It might come through alignment. This is the season to walk with wise counsel. Because no leader goes it alone, not one who finishes well. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify who’s in your corner. Take 10 minutes this week to reflect on the four types of advisers Napoleon Hill spoke about: Spiritual Financial Health Personal Now, write down one name for each category, someone you trust or could reach out to. If you come up short, don’t panic. Instead, choose one category where you feel the most need and reach out to someone this week. Ask for a conversation, schedule a coffee, or simply send a message of appreciation and curiosity. You don’t have to build your circle overnight. You just have to start. Because the path to wisdom, clarity, and strength begins with one brave ask.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 4, 2025
Fifteen years ago, a Chinese medicine doctor read my bloodwork and told me if things didn’t change I would have less energy in 5 years, and people would tell me it was just aging. That one conversation has led me on a long journey with a singular desire: to be a more optimal version of who I am in all areas of my life. Over the years, things would happen in my life that would take me off-course. Behaviors and habits that once seemed manageable, at times felt impossible. Inevitably, my long-time commitment to healthy living was something that got challenged regularly by the people around me, family and friends alike. There have been several times on this journey where I will wake up, understanding something I'm doing needs to change. Immediately. I can't always put my finger on why, yet the signs are there. Going through the motions without the incredible excitement I used to feel about my business A growing task list Questioning my ability My answer used to be to ignore my physical health and just work longer hours hoping to push through what felt like a slump. When I listen to the prompting that something needs to change, I re-commit to what matters most. The longer I've done this, the more I've realized that I can only be healthy in mind and spirit when I'm healthy in my body. And this is one of the reasons we talk about the brain and sleep in the Upside Leaders Program. Because how you treat your body directly affects how you lead. Now, I’m taking more breaks than ever before, and have plenty of space to take regular walks and trail hikes on the farm. All of this allows me to move with intention throughout the day, living moment by moment. What’s been fascinating is that since I've done this bigger opportunities continue to come my way. It’s not the hustle that opens doors. it’s being aligned with who you are, what you want and why it matters. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop and ask yourself: Where do you need to make a shift? God often reveals the need for a shift long before we act on it. It can be a strained schedule, a restless spirit, or a body that’s run down. Then take one aligned action. It can be clearing space on your calendar. Or going for a walk without your phone. Or going to bed earlier. The action doesn’t have to be dramatic and you don’t need to overhaul your life. It just needs to be intentional.
