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How Forgiveness is Important to Your Professional Life
Lisa Marie Platske • Jan 21, 2019
Over the past 2 ½ decades, I’ve been studying personal and professional leadership.
What does it take to be a leader worth following? Really.
Are there unspoken qualities or characteristics beyond the typically researched list that includes integrity, visionary, inspirational, and competent?
And, what qualities get in the way of leaders being positive agents of change?
Because Leadership with a capital “L” encompasses many facets of beingness, I’m often looking at the deeper cause and effect of what makes leaders great.
When you take art and science and blend them together through practical wisdom and case studies, what shows up isn’t always what you would expect to find.
70% of my clients own their own businesses, and the remaining 30% work for an organization and want to eventually leave the organization to more fully pursue their mission and calling.
This means I get to work with corporate managers and executives as well as small business owners and entrepreneurs alike.
What I have shared with each of them is that owning a business is one of the greatest leadership and personal growth journeys you could ever take.
It challenges who you are as a person – and what you’re capable of being— as the being always comes before doing.
In addition to coaching, companies hire me to deliver leadership training seminars and workshops inside their organizations.
Ten years ago when I was sitting around a board room table conducting a gap analysis, I realized there was a piece missing within the organization in order for the executives to move forward.
The missing ingredient? Forgiveness.
What was fascinating about this discovery was the realization that I needed to embark on my own forgiveness journey in order for me to be able to speak about this with any credibility.
The dizzying journey then led me to countless trainings and leaning into vulnerability in my business.
The culmination of walking this path led me to be invited last year to sit on the board of Project Forgive, a global non-profit created to alleviate suffering in the world.
In December 2017, blogger Amy Swift Crosby wrote a post entitled “Resentment” that was ultimately about freedom.
In her article, she shares an experience early in her career where she received a note that rocked her to the core – and how she still can’t fully shake the feeling associated with this message.
Amy goes on to write, “Shame is the quietest emotion, and what it often turns into is resentment.
It’s the secret we keep about the wrongs we experience in private.
It’s the voice that says you deserved it, because whatever they said was true.
It’s the thing you might secretly think of yourself, that someone else just confirmed…it festers and grows when left in the dark.”
Whoa.
As I examined my own leadership journey, I gave pause and remembered the times when I felt ashamed for choices I made.
- The times when I missed out on an opportunity because I was too scared to step in.
- The times when I sabotaged my success out of fear.
- The times when I agreed to work for less money because I didn’t value my own worth.
I also recalled the countless stories where the incredibly inspiring leaders that I am honored to work with shared something vulnerably, and I could hear the shame in their messages.
While the definition of shame is “a feeling of guilt, regret or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong or inappropriate”, sometimes it is only the perception of having done something wrong.
I’ve heard the shame and embarrassment of:
- Not following-up
- Failing to take action
- Wasting time
- Not making enough money in their business
- Working long hours
- Missing family commitments
- Not getting “enough” done And, the list goes on and on…
Shame requires forgiveness.
Forgiveness of oneself and others. And, if there is no forgiveness then shame can fester and mutate into resentment– of others, a system, an organization…
Without forgiveness, you will struggle to move forward.
Without forgiveness, your thoughts can hijack your actions.
Without forgiveness, you cannot be a leader worth following.
When you shine light on shame and step into full forgiveness, you will breathe easier and be able to fully step into your mission and calling.
And, when you work inside a larger organization, it will enable you to be more compassionate to those you work with even when you’re dealing with challenging situations.
Forgiveness increases your EQ, or emotional intelligence, and gives you the freedom to lead authentically.
Years ago when I walked that group of leaders through exercises around forgiveness, they were struck by the amount of resentment that had crept into the organization and how it had doomed valuable projects that then crashed and burned.
Comfort doesn’t change the world. Vulnerability changes everything.
Step into freedom with forgiveness.
Action:
Forgiveness is Important - Lisa Marie Platske
The Upside Challenge is to examine where do you hold a resentment? If you look behind the resentment, deeper into the situation to where it started, can you spot the shame? Can you see who you need to forgive? And, will you make that commitment to yourself to do so in order to fully move forward.
Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. Lead Upside.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
13 May, 2024
You have a Divine mission that is all yours – a unique purpose that is yours alone to fulfill. This mission is not something that can be stumbled upon by chance or achieved through mindless activity. It requires a laser-like focus, a willingness to channel every ounce of our time, energy, and resources toward what matters most. Yet today modern day conveniences have most folks fooled into thinking they are taking action, when really they're distracted doing lots of busy work that makes them feel a little like they are accomplishing stuff. They're really just circling around on a hamster wheel. I've been there. And I know that choosing where to invest your time, energy, and money require unwavering focus on what matters most. When we align ourselves with this Divine mission, something remarkable happens. We move with purpose and clarity, cutting through the noise and distractions that once held us back. ~ Your progress accelerates, ~ Your results compound. ~ Your success becomes inevitable. But how do we discover this mission? How do we gain the clarity and focus required to pursue it with dedication? The first step is to decide what you're truly willing to dive deeply for – what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Once you've identified this, the path becomes clear: 1. Choice : Consciously choosing to prioritize your Divine mission above all else. 2. Direction : Charting a course that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. 3. Commitment : Having a steadfast determination to see your mission through, no matter the obstacles. 4. Consistent action: Taking purposeful, focused steps every day, building momentum and compounding progress. Rinse and repeat, allowing this cycle to become your way of life, your guiding force. The best leaders get this. They understand that true greatness is not born from aimless activity but from a relentless pursuit of what matters most. If you find yourself feeling fuzzy or uncertain about your Divine mission, know that you are not alone. My door is always open to those seeking to discover their brilliance and make a lasting impact on the world. Remember the world needs you – your unique gifts, your passion, and your unwavering commitment to your Divine mission. The questions is, will you answer the call? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to ruthlessly prioritize and align your time and energy towards your Divine mission. Start by asking what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Next, make an audit on how you currently invest your time, money and energy. Identify which of these actively support and accelerate your divine mission and which are misaligned distractions circling the hamster wheel? Then, take steps to ruthlessly cut out or deprioritize anything not aligned with your mission. Double down your focus on the few core mission-critical areas. Remember true impact comes not from aimless activity, but ruthlessly devoting yourself to your unique world-shifting purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
06 May, 2024
When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
02 May, 2024
Today, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. When you find yourself in the midst of change, uncertainty, or a major life transition, it can be tempting to try to go it alone. We may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, we all need guidance and support at various points in our lives and careers. Think about a time when you were faced with a significant challenge or decision. How did you navigate that situation? Did you try to figure it out on your own, or did you reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support? I can attest from my own experience that having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. When I was going through the twists and turns of growing my business and figuring out my next steps, I leaned heavily on my coaches, mentors, and close friends. One of the coaches who has been particularly impactful in my life is Ryan Stewman . Ryan has helped countless entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through their barriers and achieve greater success. Through his coaching and guidance, he's helped me gain clarity on my vision, improve my sales and marketing strategies, and stay motivated and focused even when the path ahead seemed unclear. Another invaluable resource has been Lumenaria E. Goyer , a fellow coach and healer. Lumenaria has a unique ability to help people tap into their deepest truths and unlock their full potential. Her insights and support have been instrumental in my personal growth and development, enabling me to show up more authentically in my business and in my relationships. And then there's Neville Joffe , a business and cash flow strategist who has become a trusted mentor and friend. Neville has a wealth of experience and a keen analytical mind, and he's helped me navigate complex challenges, make difficult decisions, and stay grounded during times of rapid change and expansion. Finally, I have to give a shout-out to my dear friend Cody Toussau . Cody is a fellow entrepreneur, and he's been a constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and accountability for me. He's the one I turn to when I need a fresh perspective, or a gentle push to keep moving forward. These are just a few of the incredible people who have helped me find my way through life's roundabouts. I know I'm not alone. We all need that kind of support and guidance at various points in our lives. So, the question is, who are the people in your life that can help you navigate the twists and turns you're facing? And if you're not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to me. I'd be honored to listen to your story, offer my perspective, and connect you with resources and people who can support you on your journey. Because the world needs you, and your light deserves to shine brightly. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to evaluate and strengthen your personal circle of support: Reflect on the major decisions or growth edges you currently have in your life and work. Honestly assess any gaps in the support and wisdom you require. Then, make a list of the coaches, mentors, friends and advisors who currently provide guidance. Also, reach out to potential new mentors, join a mastermind group, explore coaching programs, or get vulnerable with friends about needing their perspective. Invest effort this week into building up your personal circle of guides - the diverse voices who can provide support. The world needs your brilliance, shining even brighter from walking alongside these lights.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
13 May, 2024
You have a Divine mission that is all yours – a unique purpose that is yours alone to fulfill. This mission is not something that can be stumbled upon by chance or achieved through mindless activity. It requires a laser-like focus, a willingness to channel every ounce of our time, energy, and resources toward what matters most. Yet today modern day conveniences have most folks fooled into thinking they are taking action, when really they're distracted doing lots of busy work that makes them feel a little like they are accomplishing stuff. They're really just circling around on a hamster wheel. I've been there. And I know that choosing where to invest your time, energy, and money require unwavering focus on what matters most. When we align ourselves with this Divine mission, something remarkable happens. We move with purpose and clarity, cutting through the noise and distractions that once held us back. ~ Your progress accelerates, ~ Your results compound. ~ Your success becomes inevitable. But how do we discover this mission? How do we gain the clarity and focus required to pursue it with dedication? The first step is to decide what you're truly willing to dive deeply for – what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Once you've identified this, the path becomes clear: 1. Choice : Consciously choosing to prioritize your Divine mission above all else. 2. Direction : Charting a course that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. 3. Commitment : Having a steadfast determination to see your mission through, no matter the obstacles. 4. Consistent action: Taking purposeful, focused steps every day, building momentum and compounding progress. Rinse and repeat, allowing this cycle to become your way of life, your guiding force. The best leaders get this. They understand that true greatness is not born from aimless activity but from a relentless pursuit of what matters most. If you find yourself feeling fuzzy or uncertain about your Divine mission, know that you are not alone. My door is always open to those seeking to discover their brilliance and make a lasting impact on the world. Remember the world needs you – your unique gifts, your passion, and your unwavering commitment to your Divine mission. The questions is, will you answer the call? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to ruthlessly prioritize and align your time and energy towards your Divine mission. Start by asking what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Next, make an audit on how you currently invest your time, money and energy. Identify which of these actively support and accelerate your divine mission and which are misaligned distractions circling the hamster wheel? Then, take steps to ruthlessly cut out or deprioritize anything not aligned with your mission. Double down your focus on the few core mission-critical areas. Remember true impact comes not from aimless activity, but ruthlessly devoting yourself to your unique world-shifting purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
06 May, 2024
When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
02 May, 2024
Today, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. When you find yourself in the midst of change, uncertainty, or a major life transition, it can be tempting to try to go it alone. We may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, we all need guidance and support at various points in our lives and careers. Think about a time when you were faced with a significant challenge or decision. How did you navigate that situation? Did you try to figure it out on your own, or did you reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support? I can attest from my own experience that having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. When I was going through the twists and turns of growing my business and figuring out my next steps, I leaned heavily on my coaches, mentors, and close friends. One of the coaches who has been particularly impactful in my life is Ryan Stewman . Ryan has helped countless entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through their barriers and achieve greater success. Through his coaching and guidance, he's helped me gain clarity on my vision, improve my sales and marketing strategies, and stay motivated and focused even when the path ahead seemed unclear. Another invaluable resource has been Lumenaria E. Goyer , a fellow coach and healer. Lumenaria has a unique ability to help people tap into their deepest truths and unlock their full potential. Her insights and support have been instrumental in my personal growth and development, enabling me to show up more authentically in my business and in my relationships. And then there's Neville Joffe , a business and cash flow strategist who has become a trusted mentor and friend. Neville has a wealth of experience and a keen analytical mind, and he's helped me navigate complex challenges, make difficult decisions, and stay grounded during times of rapid change and expansion. Finally, I have to give a shout-out to my dear friend Cody Toussau . Cody is a fellow entrepreneur, and he's been a constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and accountability for me. He's the one I turn to when I need a fresh perspective, or a gentle push to keep moving forward. These are just a few of the incredible people who have helped me find my way through life's roundabouts. I know I'm not alone. We all need that kind of support and guidance at various points in our lives. So, the question is, who are the people in your life that can help you navigate the twists and turns you're facing? And if you're not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to me. I'd be honored to listen to your story, offer my perspective, and connect you with resources and people who can support you on your journey. Because the world needs you, and your light deserves to shine brightly. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to evaluate and strengthen your personal circle of support: Reflect on the major decisions or growth edges you currently have in your life and work. Honestly assess any gaps in the support and wisdom you require. Then, make a list of the coaches, mentors, friends and advisors who currently provide guidance. Also, reach out to potential new mentors, join a mastermind group, explore coaching programs, or get vulnerable with friends about needing their perspective. Invest effort this week into building up your personal circle of guides - the diverse voices who can provide support. The world needs your brilliance, shining even brighter from walking alongside these lights.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
Upside Your Business & Your Life!
