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Bridging the Divide
LisaMarie • Mar 08, 2021
While it looked different, Design Your Destiny Live event was held in-person twice in Phoenix, AZ and once in Raleigh, NC this year.
Having consistency at all three events allowed me to breathe easier. Marnie Cooley, our AV whiz, Holly Williams body worker extraordinaire, my husband Jim – and success coach and emotional resilience expert, Suzanne Dudley-Schon created a magical safe space at every event.
Suzanne understands that the beingness of leadership matters more than the doingness of leadership. You can take all of the tactical leadership actions that generate success and not be a leader worth following.
This week, she’s written about bridging the divide, her personal musings from Design Your Destiny Live.
Happy Reading!
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Design Your Destiny Live, the annual event created by Lisa Marie Platske and her company Upside Thinking, is a year’s worth of information and transformation packed into three days. For many years it has been my privilege to go and be part of it, and in different capacities, from audience member to panelist to emcee to partner in support.
Each year I’ve watched a roomful of people sparked with renewed hope walk away with the business equivalent of good soil, seeds, and sunshine to apply going forward. Practical information, business insights, tools, deep inquiry to provoke new growth, and the chance to connect with other professionals.
This year, like so much else in the past 12 months, Design Your Destiny Live was different. I can hear you asking, “A live event this year? This year?” During a pandemic. Yes. Three live events. Very small gatherings, with a retreat format and feel.
When people come together in person there is a kind of chemistry experiment going on. Different voices, ideas, perspectives, energies, histories, and bodies mixing and sharing a common space. And, in this case, a common space and an event focused on designing one’s life … during an uncommon time.
There’s always been great diversity among the attendees of Design Your Destiny Live. However, it’s never been preceded by a year like this when the covers have been pulled back to reveal systemic racism in our world as never before. We’ve all been flung on tides of emotions. We’ve been fed falsehoods meant to ply our minds into partisanship and fear-based assessments. Driven by algorithms, twitter tribes, facebook groups, and “insta”-bandwagons there’s “belonging” without true connection. All these things can untether us from truth. Inner truth and larger Truth.
Whatever room you walk into this year— chances are awareness is up. Pain is up. “Us and Them-ness” is up.
From the first years Lisa Marie held Design Your Destiny Live, she created a set of rules and commitments. Everyone promises to abide by them. These agreements ensure safety, and set a foundation for understanding, trust, responsibility, and respect for self and others. The event room is a safe space where people can delve into work that they might otherwise resist doing.
Because the events were open to a much smaller number of attendees, I could see more keenly what transpired for each participant and the dynamics among them. For both the second and third events this year, half of the women were white, half were women of color. On the first day, I watched them take each other in: watchful, tentative, curious. Mostly, I sensed willingness. Willingness to remain open. After all, these people signed up during a pandemic, wanting to take conscientious and constructive action in their lives. To me, this certainly belies a starting point of courage and receptivity.
They got the infusion of strategies and information. Plenty of a-ha moments lit the room. Deep questions and exercises clarified purpose and commitments. Participants identified the gap between their current situations and their goals. They also saw the divisions in themselves. How did their principles and values align with their missions and their choices? Had they compromised themselves and their integrity? Was forgiveness needed in order to move forward? Did they need to make adjustments to course correct? As each person would reveal a little piece of their challenges, their hardships, their vision… their vulnerable shares met the warmth of the group. Icy blocks within melted. I witnessed each of them settle into themselves, lustrous, and perfectly imperfect.
In doing their own work, sharing their thoughts, feelings, aspirations, and challenges, the attendees saw each other newly. Felt each other newly. Instead of differences, they could find themselves in each other. Similarity at a core level. In making space in their own hearts for themselves, they found room for others. They could empathize with the heavy burdens and histories of one another. In celebrating their unique selves and gifts, “the separateness” gave way to oneness and soul kinship.
By the final day, they’d exchanged contact information, hugged, looked into each other’s eyes and called each other sisters as they said goodbye.
In focusing on the work we are called to do to develop ourselves, we go deeper than surface assessments, beyond judgements and misunderstandings, beyond demographics, beyond what has been passed down through generations. We create possibilities and bridge the divides that keep us from our own divinity and from each other. We are not alone.
I trust that from Design Your Destiny Live, 2021, the germination of compassion, mutual respect, support, and love will go on to bear many other fruits and seeds.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to focus internally to take responsibility in a new way.
Share what you discover with someone else.
Notice the similarities.
What can you learn? How can it inform your thoughts, energy, and actions?
As Lisa Marie says, the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
13 May, 2024
You have a Divine mission that is all yours – a unique purpose that is yours alone to fulfill. This mission is not something that can be stumbled upon by chance or achieved through mindless activity. It requires a laser-like focus, a willingness to channel every ounce of our time, energy, and resources toward what matters most. Yet today modern day conveniences have most folks fooled into thinking they are taking action, when really they're distracted doing lots of busy work that makes them feel a little like they are accomplishing stuff. They're really just circling around on a hamster wheel. I've been there. And I know that choosing where to invest your time, energy, and money require unwavering focus on what matters most. When we align ourselves with this Divine mission, something remarkable happens. We move with purpose and clarity, cutting through the noise and distractions that once held us back. ~ Your progress accelerates, ~ Your results compound. ~ Your success becomes inevitable. But how do we discover this mission? How do we gain the clarity and focus required to pursue it with dedication? The first step is to decide what you're truly willing to dive deeply for – what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Once you've identified this, the path becomes clear: 1. Choice : Consciously choosing to prioritize your Divine mission above all else. 2. Direction : Charting a course that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. 3. Commitment : Having a steadfast determination to see your mission through, no matter the obstacles. 4. Consistent action: Taking purposeful, focused steps every day, building momentum and compounding progress. Rinse and repeat, allowing this cycle to become your way of life, your guiding force. The best leaders get this. They understand that true greatness is not born from aimless activity but from a relentless pursuit of what matters most. If you find yourself feeling fuzzy or uncertain about your Divine mission, know that you are not alone. My door is always open to those seeking to discover their brilliance and make a lasting impact on the world. Remember the world needs you – your unique gifts, your passion, and your unwavering commitment to your Divine mission. The questions is, will you answer the call? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to ruthlessly prioritize and align your time and energy towards your Divine mission. Start by asking what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Next, make an audit on how you currently invest your time, money and energy. Identify which of these actively support and accelerate your divine mission and which are misaligned distractions circling the hamster wheel? Then, take steps to ruthlessly cut out or deprioritize anything not aligned with your mission. Double down your focus on the few core mission-critical areas. Remember true impact comes not from aimless activity, but ruthlessly devoting yourself to your unique world-shifting purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
06 May, 2024
When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
02 May, 2024
Today, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. When you find yourself in the midst of change, uncertainty, or a major life transition, it can be tempting to try to go it alone. We may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, we all need guidance and support at various points in our lives and careers. Think about a time when you were faced with a significant challenge or decision. How did you navigate that situation? Did you try to figure it out on your own, or did you reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support? I can attest from my own experience that having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. When I was going through the twists and turns of growing my business and figuring out my next steps, I leaned heavily on my coaches, mentors, and close friends. One of the coaches who has been particularly impactful in my life is Ryan Stewman . Ryan has helped countless entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through their barriers and achieve greater success. Through his coaching and guidance, he's helped me gain clarity on my vision, improve my sales and marketing strategies, and stay motivated and focused even when the path ahead seemed unclear. Another invaluable resource has been Lumenaria E. Goyer , a fellow coach and healer. Lumenaria has a unique ability to help people tap into their deepest truths and unlock their full potential. Her insights and support have been instrumental in my personal growth and development, enabling me to show up more authentically in my business and in my relationships. And then there's Neville Joffe , a business and cash flow strategist who has become a trusted mentor and friend. Neville has a wealth of experience and a keen analytical mind, and he's helped me navigate complex challenges, make difficult decisions, and stay grounded during times of rapid change and expansion. Finally, I have to give a shout-out to my dear friend Cody Toussau . Cody is a fellow entrepreneur, and he's been a constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and accountability for me. He's the one I turn to when I need a fresh perspective, or a gentle push to keep moving forward. These are just a few of the incredible people who have helped me find my way through life's roundabouts. I know I'm not alone. We all need that kind of support and guidance at various points in our lives. So, the question is, who are the people in your life that can help you navigate the twists and turns you're facing? And if you're not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to me. I'd be honored to listen to your story, offer my perspective, and connect you with resources and people who can support you on your journey. Because the world needs you, and your light deserves to shine brightly. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to evaluate and strengthen your personal circle of support: Reflect on the major decisions or growth edges you currently have in your life and work. Honestly assess any gaps in the support and wisdom you require. Then, make a list of the coaches, mentors, friends and advisors who currently provide guidance. Also, reach out to potential new mentors, join a mastermind group, explore coaching programs, or get vulnerable with friends about needing their perspective. Invest effort this week into building up your personal circle of guides - the diverse voices who can provide support. The world needs your brilliance, shining even brighter from walking alongside these lights.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
13 May, 2024
You have a Divine mission that is all yours – a unique purpose that is yours alone to fulfill. This mission is not something that can be stumbled upon by chance or achieved through mindless activity. It requires a laser-like focus, a willingness to channel every ounce of our time, energy, and resources toward what matters most. Yet today modern day conveniences have most folks fooled into thinking they are taking action, when really they're distracted doing lots of busy work that makes them feel a little like they are accomplishing stuff. They're really just circling around on a hamster wheel. I've been there. And I know that choosing where to invest your time, energy, and money require unwavering focus on what matters most. When we align ourselves with this Divine mission, something remarkable happens. We move with purpose and clarity, cutting through the noise and distractions that once held us back. ~ Your progress accelerates, ~ Your results compound. ~ Your success becomes inevitable. But how do we discover this mission? How do we gain the clarity and focus required to pursue it with dedication? The first step is to decide what you're truly willing to dive deeply for – what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Once you've identified this, the path becomes clear: 1. Choice : Consciously choosing to prioritize your Divine mission above all else. 2. Direction : Charting a course that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. 3. Commitment : Having a steadfast determination to see your mission through, no matter the obstacles. 4. Consistent action: Taking purposeful, focused steps every day, building momentum and compounding progress. Rinse and repeat, allowing this cycle to become your way of life, your guiding force. The best leaders get this. They understand that true greatness is not born from aimless activity but from a relentless pursuit of what matters most. If you find yourself feeling fuzzy or uncertain about your Divine mission, know that you are not alone. My door is always open to those seeking to discover their brilliance and make a lasting impact on the world. Remember the world needs you – your unique gifts, your passion, and your unwavering commitment to your Divine mission. The questions is, will you answer the call? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to ruthlessly prioritize and align your time and energy towards your Divine mission. Start by asking what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Next, make an audit on how you currently invest your time, money and energy. Identify which of these actively support and accelerate your divine mission and which are misaligned distractions circling the hamster wheel? Then, take steps to ruthlessly cut out or deprioritize anything not aligned with your mission. Double down your focus on the few core mission-critical areas. Remember true impact comes not from aimless activity, but ruthlessly devoting yourself to your unique world-shifting purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
06 May, 2024
When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
02 May, 2024
Today, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. When you find yourself in the midst of change, uncertainty, or a major life transition, it can be tempting to try to go it alone. We may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, we all need guidance and support at various points in our lives and careers. Think about a time when you were faced with a significant challenge or decision. How did you navigate that situation? Did you try to figure it out on your own, or did you reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support? I can attest from my own experience that having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. When I was going through the twists and turns of growing my business and figuring out my next steps, I leaned heavily on my coaches, mentors, and close friends. One of the coaches who has been particularly impactful in my life is Ryan Stewman . Ryan has helped countless entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through their barriers and achieve greater success. Through his coaching and guidance, he's helped me gain clarity on my vision, improve my sales and marketing strategies, and stay motivated and focused even when the path ahead seemed unclear. Another invaluable resource has been Lumenaria E. Goyer , a fellow coach and healer. Lumenaria has a unique ability to help people tap into their deepest truths and unlock their full potential. Her insights and support have been instrumental in my personal growth and development, enabling me to show up more authentically in my business and in my relationships. And then there's Neville Joffe , a business and cash flow strategist who has become a trusted mentor and friend. Neville has a wealth of experience and a keen analytical mind, and he's helped me navigate complex challenges, make difficult decisions, and stay grounded during times of rapid change and expansion. Finally, I have to give a shout-out to my dear friend Cody Toussau . Cody is a fellow entrepreneur, and he's been a constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and accountability for me. He's the one I turn to when I need a fresh perspective, or a gentle push to keep moving forward. These are just a few of the incredible people who have helped me find my way through life's roundabouts. I know I'm not alone. We all need that kind of support and guidance at various points in our lives. So, the question is, who are the people in your life that can help you navigate the twists and turns you're facing? And if you're not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to me. I'd be honored to listen to your story, offer my perspective, and connect you with resources and people who can support you on your journey. Because the world needs you, and your light deserves to shine brightly. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to evaluate and strengthen your personal circle of support: Reflect on the major decisions or growth edges you currently have in your life and work. Honestly assess any gaps in the support and wisdom you require. Then, make a list of the coaches, mentors, friends and advisors who currently provide guidance. Also, reach out to potential new mentors, join a mastermind group, explore coaching programs, or get vulnerable with friends about needing their perspective. Invest effort this week into building up your personal circle of guides - the diverse voices who can provide support. The world needs your brilliance, shining even brighter from walking alongside these lights.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
Upside Your Business & Your Life!
