Healing The Past to Lead from My Whole Self

Siam struggled for years and tried everything he knew to do. First, he rebuilt his website. Then, he spent money getting people to listen to his podcast. Next, he mapped out a social media strategy with a digital marketing agency. Lastly, he went all in on paid advertising. He was working long hours, missing out on time with his family. And Siam’s bank account kept shrinking, and he couldn't figure out why nothing seemed to be working. And that’s when we met. Siam was the older brother of a friend of mine, and she thought I could help him see the missing piece. I agreed to meet with him over Zoom. He was direct and told me he wasn't sure why his sister wanted us to meet. I, too, was direct with him and shared that she watched him struggle in business -- and believed the work I do would be valuable to jumpstart new opportunities. I shared my desire to listen and be of service if he was interested. Still a bit bristly in his demeanor, he said he wanted to hear what I had to say. After I asked a few questions, over 30 minutes, he softened and started to open up about the business. I began putting the pieces together and could see that Siam thought he had to do business like everyone else, and it was killing him. He spent the last 24 months trying to grow the business with very little to show for it, and his confidence had taken a hit. I could see through his bravado with a whole lot of tenderness because I’ve been there. When you don’t stack the wins fast enough, everything around you starts to feel like a loss. You begin doubting your worth and value, and when that happens, ... ~ it’s hard to build a great website, ~ it's hard to write on social media, and ~ it's hard to attract the people you’re called to serve. Sometimes, you can't see what you need to shift, so you start chasing tactics trying to fix the problem. Rarely are tactics the issue for a stunted career or a stalled business venture. If you don’t first figure out who you are, what you want, and why it matters, none of the tactical elements for business growth will work for you. You've got to get clear on your mission, values, and vision. From there, you can look at patterns getting in the way. We all have blind spots, and no one can see their pitfalls on their own. When you get clarity, confidence follows. Then, bigger opportunities will start to show up. Yet, if you could see your blocks, you'd remove them. Siam got that he couldn’t walk this journey alone. The best leaders get it. To get the greatest ROI, focus on leadership. Focusing on tactics, technology, or other shiny objects won't get you the big paycheck. Siam and I worked together one-on-one, and he got his leadership IQ dialed in. I was also able to help him write new marketing materials -- after he got clear, and the results led to a 39% increase in business. Today, he’s making his mark on the world. Increase your leadership IQ because the world needs you and your brilliance.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify the one thing that is draining your energy and not delivering results. Maybe it’s a commitment that no longer aligns, a habit that is having you overwork, or a task someone else could handle. Let it go. Growth isn’t about doing more; it’s about making room for what truly matters. When you clear distractions, you create space for divine opportunities to flow. Today, remove one thing that’s holding you back and trust that what’s meant for you will rise in its place.

According to MIT professor Pierre Azoulay, who analyzed 2.7 million people who founded companies between 2007 and 2014, a person who starts a company at age 50 is TWICE as likely to get acquired or go public than a founder at 30. Here are some specific examples: ~ Vera Wang didn’t design a dress until she was 40. ~ Mary Kay Ash started Mary Kay Cosmetics at 45—the same age Henry Ford was when he created the world-changing Model T car in 1908. ~ Arianna Huffington started The Huffington Post when she was 55, and Louise Hay launched Hay House at 58. ~ Writer Harry Bernstein published his first book at 96—then went on to write three more before he died at 101, commenting that his 90s were the “most productive years” of his life. You have opportunities all around you. There will always be people who will tell you you're ~ Too old, ~ Too young, ~ Too inexperienced, ~ Too experienced, … …and the list goes on and on. Life happens in the here and now, moment by moment. Don’t subscribe to someone’s timeline for your life. Don’t let a fear-based approach put an expiration date on you or your dreams. You only get one life. I’ve had people tell me I should slow down, that at my age I should be content with what I’ve built. And I know in my soul—I’m just getting started. If you feel the same pull, a Private, Leadership Retreat might be the place to step away, challenge what’s holding you back, and step fully into what’s next. Be clear about Who You Are, What You Want, and Why it Matters, so you can do what you love—and keep doing it—from a place of choice. ... Because that’s how you get to the health, happiness, success, and meaning that will give you an inner peace that few folks ever get to experience in this lifetime.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine where you might have bought into a commonly held belief about who you are that gets in the way and limits what you want. Challenge it. Then, defy it. Choose an action step in direct opposition to that false belief. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. Now more than ever. Go shine your light. And at 55, I am clear I'm just getting started...

For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.